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Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics
01. Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo (early ’50s recording)
02. Merry F**king Christmas
03. O Holy Night
04. Dead, Dead, Dead
05. Carol of the Bells
06. The Lonely Jew on Christmas
07. I Saw Three Ships
08. It Happened in Sun Valley
09. O Tannenbaum
10. Christmas Time in Hell
11. What the Hell Child Is This?
12. Santa Claus Is on His Way
13. Swiss Colony Beef Log
14. Hark the Herald Angels Sing
15. Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel
16. The Most Offensive Song Ever
17. We Three Kings
18. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Stockings are hung on the chimney
And the presents are under the tree
And Mamma's in the kitchen
Making some, 'erbal tea

The windows are covered with frost
And the candles are all alight
But as I wander, through this quiet house
Something just doesn't seem right

You see, every year, the neighbours bring us
A Swiss Colony Beef Log
But the neighbours aren't around, around, around
There's no Beef Log to be found this year

No Beef Log

Christmas isn't Christmas
Without a Swiss Colony Beef Log
Without those cheeses and meats
I don't think I can get around

My mother tries to comfort me
She says "Here Son, have some egg nog"
I fucking hate egg nog, seriously

What do I see?
Underneath the tree?
Grandma got a Swiss Colony Beef Log just for me
Ah... Gravy!
Swiss Colony Beef Log, baby!
That's what Christmas is all about!
The roly-poly Colony Beef Log, baby!
Makes a little boy scream and shout!
Deck the halls with balls of Swiss Colony
La la la la la, la la, la la!

Sweet