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Dr. Demento Presents: The Greatest Novelty Records of All Time
Disc 1
01. The Okeh Laughing Record
02. Hooray for Captain Spaulding
03. Inka Dinka Doo
04. Minnie the Moocher
05. I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
06. Three Little Fishies
07. I Like Bananas (Because They Have No Bones)
08. Cocktails for Two
09. Too Fat Polka
10. I'm My Own Grandpaw
11. Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)
12. Shaving Cream
13. The Freckle Song
14. Pico and Sepulveda
Disc 2
01. The Purple People Eater
02. Transfusion
03. Flying Saucer
04. The Battle of Kookamonga
05. Stranded in the Jungle
06. The Mummy
07. Russian Bandstand
08. The Thing
09. Masochism Tango
10. Little Blue Riding Hood
11. Sunday Driving
12. One of These Days
13. The Dinghy Song
14. Eloise
Disc 3
01. Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour (On the Bedpost Overnight)
02. Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
03. Martian Hop
04. Alley-Oop
05. Gitarzan
06. Surfin’ Bird
07. Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh!
08. Monster Mash
09. Mr. Custer
10. They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!
11. The Eggplant That Ate Chicago
12. Bounce Your Boobies
13. Tip-Toe Thru’ the Tulips With Me
14. So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III)
Disc 4
01. Short People
02. Junk Food Junkie
03. My Bologna
04. Fish Heads
05. Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take the Garbage Out
06. The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati
07. Pencil Neck Geek
08. Time Warp
09. King Tut
10. Earache My Eye
11. My Dead Dog Rover
12. Dead Skunk
13. Dead Puppies
Disc 5
01. Eat It
02. Fast Food
03. The Curly Shuffle
04. Bedrock Rap-Meet the Flintstones
05. The Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun
06. Rock ’n’ Roll Doctor
07. Rappin' Rodney
08. Marvin I Love You
09. The Scotsman
10. Another One Rides the Bus
11. Take Off
12. Existential Blues
Disc 6
01. All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
02. The Twelve Days of Christmas
03. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
04. Santa and the Satellite
05. A Christmas Carol
06. Green Christmas
07. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
08. I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas
09. Nuttin’ for Christmas
10. Wreck the Halls With Boughs of Holly
11. I'm a Christmas Tree
12. Santa Claus and His Old Lady
I tell ya, I'm alright now
But last week I was in rough shape
But I don't get a break with nothin'!

I played hide and seek when I was three
(No respect, no respect)
Why, they wouldn't even look for me
(No respect, no respect)
I was an ugly kid, I never had fun
(No respect, no respect)
They took me to a dog show and I won!
(No respect, no respect)
When I was born I brought no joy
(No respect, no respect)
My old man said he wanted a boy
(No respect, no respect)
I was an ugly kid, always alone
(No respect, no respect)
Halloween, I had to trick or treat over the phone
(No respect, no respect)

Friends don't call, my phone don't ring
I don't get a break with anything!
(What's the matter, Rodney?)
Ah, death, where is thy sting?!

It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight
No, no, Rappin' Rodney, get out of sight
It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake
Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break!

I'm getting old, it's hard to face
(No respect, no respect)
When during sex I lose my place
(No respect, no respect)
Steak and sex, my favorite pair
(No respect, no respect)
I have 'em both the same way, very rare
(No respect, no respect)
I know I'm old, I could go any minute!
(No respect, no respect)
I got a kidney-shaped pool with a stone in it
(No respect, no respect)
Doctor Vinnie Boombatz, that's another one
(No respect, no respect)
I said I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!
(No respect, no respect)

I told him I got water on the knee
He gave me a sponge and raised his fee!
(What's the matter, Rodney?)
Ah, it ain't easy bein' me

It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight
No, no, Rappin' Rodney, get out of sight
It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake
Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break!

Now, gimme a break! Play something from the 40s!

Now, what kinda music is this? How about "Stardust"?

Man, what are you doin'?! That's not "Stardust"!

Listen to this, will ya? I mean, where are the flutes?

What a band... ey, don't quit your day jobs

Look at this, the drummer carries the melody!

Hey, tell the bass player I like his instrument

Hey boys, keep it going! Lay it on me, I'm in the groove!

Nothing goes right, I just can't fight it
(No respect, no respect)
Well, Eastern Airlines thanked me for flying United!
(No respect, no respect)
I got some money, what did I do?
(No respect, no respect)
I bought some quicksand, the deal fell through!
(No respect, no respect)
My car broke down, I called Triple A
(No respect, no respect)
They left the car and towed me away!
(No respect, no respect)
I can't take it no more, I'm getting too old
(No respect, no respect)
I called Suicide Prevention, they put me on hold!
(No respect, no respect)

Winter, summer, spring, and fall
I'm always up against the wall!
(What's the matter, Rodney?)
Ah, I don't get no respect at all

It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight
No, no, Rappin' Rodney, get out of sight
It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake
Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break!

It's getting worse, it's caving in!
The heaviness, I can't take it no more
It's all over... hey, where are my kids?
Somebody help me! Hey, bartender!
Hey, who's that guy with my daughter?
Where's my wallet? How do I get outta here?
Stop that dancing...!