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Dr. Demento Presents: The Greatest Novelty Records of All Time
Disc 1
01. The Okeh Laughing Record
02. Hooray for Captain Spaulding
03. Inka Dinka Doo
04. Minnie the Moocher
05. I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
06. Three Little Fishies
07. I Like Bananas (Because They Have No Bones)
08. Cocktails for Two
09. Too Fat Polka
10. I'm My Own Grandpaw
11. Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)
12. Shaving Cream
13. The Freckle Song
14. Pico and Sepulveda
Disc 2
01. The Purple People Eater
02. Transfusion
03. Flying Saucer
04. The Battle of Kookamonga
05. Stranded in the Jungle
06. The Mummy
07. Russian Bandstand
08. The Thing
09. Masochism Tango
10. Little Blue Riding Hood
11. Sunday Driving
12. One of These Days
13. The Dinghy Song
14. Eloise
Disc 3
01. Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour (On the Bedpost Overnight)
02. Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
03. Martian Hop
04. Alley-Oop
05. Gitarzan
06. Surfin’ Bird
07. Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh!
08. Monster Mash
09. Mr. Custer
10. They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!
11. The Eggplant That Ate Chicago
12. Bounce Your Boobies
13. Tip-Toe Thru’ the Tulips With Me
14. So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III)
Disc 4
01. Short People
02. Junk Food Junkie
03. My Bologna
04. Fish Heads
05. Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take the Garbage Out
06. The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati
07. Pencil Neck Geek
08. Time Warp
09. King Tut
10. Earache My Eye
11. My Dead Dog Rover
12. Dead Skunk
13. Dead Puppies
Disc 5
01. Eat It
02. Fast Food
03. The Curly Shuffle
04. Bedrock Rap-Meet the Flintstones
05. The Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun
06. Rock ’n’ Roll Doctor
07. Rappin' Rodney
08. Marvin I Love You
09. The Scotsman
10. Another One Rides the Bus
11. Take Off
12. Existential Blues
Disc 6
01. All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
02. The Twelve Days of Christmas
03. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
04. Santa and the Satellite
05. A Christmas Carol
06. Green Christmas
07. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
08. I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas
09. Nuttin’ for Christmas
10. Wreck the Halls With Boughs of Holly
11. I'm a Christmas Tree
12. Santa Claus and His Old Lady
I ache for the touch of your lips dear
But much more for the touch of your
Whips, dear
You can raise welts
Like nobody else
As we dance to the Masochism Tango
Let our love be a flame, not an ember
Say it's me that you want to dismember
Blacken my eye
Set fire to my tie
As we dance to the Masochism Tango
At your command
Before you here I stand
My heart is in my hand (eecchh)
It's here that I must be
My heart entreats
Just hear those savage beats
And go put on your cleats
And come and trample me
Your heart is hard as stone or mahogany
That's why I'm in such exquisite "Ogany"
My soul is on fire
I's aflame with desire
Which is why I perspire when we tango
You caught my nose
In your left castanet, love
I can feel the pain yet, love
Everytime I hear drums
And I envy the rose
That you held in your teeth, love
With the thorns underneath, love
Sticking into your gums
Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches
The last time I needed 20 stitches
To sew up the gash
You made with your lash
As we danced to the Masochism Tango
Bash in my brain
And make me scream with pain
Then kick me once again
And say we'll never part
I know too well
I'm underneath your spell
So darling if you smell
Something burning, it's my heart
(Hic) excuse me
Take your cigarette from its holder
And bum your initials in my shoulder
Fracture my spine
And swear that you're mine
As we dance to the Masochism Tango
You caught my nose
In your left castanet, love
I can never forget, love
How this passion was born
How I envied the rose
That your teeth used to
Clench, love
When I tried something
French, love
All I got was a thorn