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Dr. Demento Presents: The Greatest Novelty Records of All Time
Disc 1
01. The Okeh Laughing Record
02. Hooray for Captain Spaulding
03. Inka Dinka Doo
04. Minnie the Moocher
05. I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
06. Three Little Fishies
07. I Like Bananas (Because They Have No Bones)
08. Cocktails for Two
09. Too Fat Polka
10. I'm My Own Grandpaw
11. Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)
12. Shaving Cream
13. The Freckle Song
14. Pico and Sepulveda
Disc 2
01. The Purple People Eater
02. Transfusion
03. Flying Saucer
04. The Battle of Kookamonga
05. Stranded in the Jungle
06. The Mummy
07. Russian Bandstand
08. The Thing
09. Masochism Tango
10. Little Blue Riding Hood
11. Sunday Driving
12. One of These Days
13. The Dinghy Song
14. Eloise
Disc 3
01. Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour (On the Bedpost Overnight)
02. Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
03. Martian Hop
04. Alley-Oop
05. Gitarzan
06. Surfin’ Bird
07. Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh!
08. Monster Mash
09. Mr. Custer
10. They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!
11. The Eggplant That Ate Chicago
12. Bounce Your Boobies
13. Tip-Toe Thru’ the Tulips With Me
14. So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III)
Disc 4
01. Short People
02. Junk Food Junkie
03. My Bologna
04. Fish Heads
05. Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take the Garbage Out
06. The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati
07. Pencil Neck Geek
08. Time Warp
09. King Tut
10. Earache My Eye
11. My Dead Dog Rover
12. Dead Skunk
13. Dead Puppies
Disc 5
01. Eat It
02. Fast Food
03. The Curly Shuffle
04. Bedrock Rap-Meet the Flintstones
05. The Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun
06. Rock ’n’ Roll Doctor
07. Rappin' Rodney
08. Marvin I Love You
09. The Scotsman
10. Another One Rides the Bus
11. Take Off
12. Existential Blues
Disc 6
01. All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
02. The Twelve Days of Christmas
03. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
04. Santa and the Satellite
05. A Christmas Carol
06. Green Christmas
07. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
08. I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas
09. Nuttin’ for Christmas
10. Wreck the Halls With Boughs of Holly
11. I'm a Christmas Tree
12. Santa Claus and His Old Lady
We interrupt this record
To bring you a special bulletin
The reports of a flying saucer
Hovering over the city
Have been confirmed
The flying saucers are real
(Too real when I feel
What my heart can't conceal)
That was The Clatters
Recording, Too Real
We switch you now to our
On the spot reporter downtown
(Come on, baby
Let's go downtown)
Take it away
John Cameron Cameron
This is John
Cameron Cameron downtown
Pardon me, madam
Would you tell our audience
What would you do if
The saucer were to land
(Duck back in the alley)
Thank you and now
The thin gentleman there
(What I'm gonna do
Is hard to tell)
And the gentleman
With the guitar
What would you do, sir
(Just take a walk
Down lonely street)
Thank you
We return you now...
This is Drak
Your outer space disc jockey
With a request for earth
(Earth angel, earth angel)
That was The Pelicans outer
Space recording, Earth
I've just been handed a bulletin
The flying saucer has just landed
We switch you again downtown
Here we are again
We have with us Professor
Sir Cedric Pentingmode
Of the British Institute
And the professor is approaching
The saucer to see if there's
Possibly any sign of life aboard
Well, I'm sure something
Are you there
(I hear you knocking
But you can't come in)
That was Laughing
Lewis' record, Knocking
This is John Cameron
Cameron on the spot
And now I believe we're
About to hear the words of
The first spaceman ever
To land on Earth
(Womp bop a loo bop
A lomp bam boom)
And now here are the ball scores
Four to three, six to two
And eight to one
The impact of seeing
The first spaceman has
This reporter reeling
(Here I go reeling
Uh-oh, uh-oh...)
That was The Clatters again
With their big one, Uh-Oh
This is John Cameron
Cameron again downtown
The spaceman has returned
To his ship and is taking off
We return you now to our studios
The flying saucer has gone
There is no threat of an invasion
However, the flying saucers
Are still around
(Still around)
We are not going
To interrupt this record
Yes, we are
The flying saucer
Has landed again
Washington, The Secretary
Of Defense has just said
(Ain't that a shame)
That was Skinny Dynamo's
Record, That's A Shame
This is John Cameron
Cameron, part two
Gathered around me are
Several of the spacemen
Tell us, have you come
To conquer the world
And now would you
Repeat that in English
(Don't want the world
To have and hold)
Hey, why don't you go back
Where you came from
(Don't be angry
And drive me away)
We return you now
To our studios
Here is a news item
From Washington
The President has just
Issued a statement to the
Spacemen and we quote
(You can do anything
But lay off of my
Blue suede shoes)
That was Pa Gherkins record, Shoes
We switch you again downtown
This is John Cameron
Cameron downtown
Professor Sir Cedric of
The British Institute
Tell us how were
The saucers able to land
Well, you see..
(The motor cooled down
The heat went down)
That was Huckle Berry's recording
The Moter Cooled Down
This is John Cameron
Cameron again
I believe the spaceman has
A final parting word
(See you later, alligator)
We return you now
To our studios
The spacemen have gone again
But look to the skies
The saucers will
Always be there
(Always be there)
Goodbye, earth people