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Dr. Demento Presents: The Greatest Novelty Records of All Time
Disc 1
01. The Okeh Laughing Record
02. Hooray for Captain Spaulding
03. Inka Dinka Doo
04. Minnie the Moocher
05. I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
06. Three Little Fishies
07. I Like Bananas (Because They Have No Bones)
08. Cocktails for Two
09. Too Fat Polka
10. I'm My Own Grandpaw
11. Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)
12. Shaving Cream
13. The Freckle Song
14. Pico and Sepulveda
Disc 2
01. The Purple People Eater
02. Transfusion
03. Flying Saucer
04. The Battle of Kookamonga
05. Stranded in the Jungle
06. The Mummy
07. Russian Bandstand
08. The Thing
09. Masochism Tango
10. Little Blue Riding Hood
11. Sunday Driving
12. One of These Days
13. The Dinghy Song
14. Eloise
Disc 3
01. Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour (On the Bedpost Overnight)
02. Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
03. Martian Hop
04. Alley-Oop
05. Gitarzan
06. Surfin’ Bird
07. Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh!
08. Monster Mash
09. Mr. Custer
10. They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!
11. The Eggplant That Ate Chicago
12. Bounce Your Boobies
13. Tip-Toe Thru’ the Tulips With Me
14. So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III)
Disc 4
01. Short People
02. Junk Food Junkie
03. My Bologna
04. Fish Heads
05. Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take the Garbage Out
06. The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati
07. Pencil Neck Geek
08. Time Warp
09. King Tut
10. Earache My Eye
11. My Dead Dog Rover
12. Dead Skunk
13. Dead Puppies
Disc 5
01. Eat It
02. Fast Food
03. The Curly Shuffle
04. Bedrock Rap-Meet the Flintstones
05. The Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun
06. Rock ’n’ Roll Doctor
07. Rappin' Rodney
08. Marvin I Love You
09. The Scotsman
10. Another One Rides the Bus
11. Take Off
12. Existential Blues
Disc 6
01. All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
02. The Twelve Days of Christmas
03. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
04. Santa and the Satellite
05. A Christmas Carol
06. Green Christmas
07. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
08. I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas
09. Nuttin’ for Christmas
10. Wreck the Halls With Boughs of Holly
11. I'm a Christmas Tree
12. Santa Claus and His Old Lady
You know I love that organic cooking
I always ask for more
And they call me Mr. Natural
On down to the health food store

I only eat good sea salt
White sugar dont touch my lips
And my friends is always
Begging me to take them
On macrobiotic trips
Yes, they are

Oh, but at night I take out my strongbox
That I keep under lock and key
And I take it off to my closet
Where nobody else can see

I open that door so slowly
Take a peek up north and south
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie
And I pop it in my mouth

Yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good Lord have pity on me

Well, at lunchtime
You can always find me
At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar
Just sucking on my plain white yogurt
From my hand thrown pottery jar

And sippin' a little hand pressed cider
With a carrot stick for dessert
And wiping my face in a natural way
On the sleeve of my peasant shirt
Oh, yeah

Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight
And I'm all by myself
I work that combination
On my secret hideaway shelf

And I pull out some Fritos corn chips
Dr. Pepper and an Ole Moon Pie
Then I sit back in glorious expectation
Of a genuine junk food high

Oh yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good Lord have pity on me

My friends down at the commune
They think I'm pretty neat
Oh, I don't know nothing about arts and crafts
But I give 'em all something to eat

I'm a friend to old Euell Gibbons
And I only eat homegrown spice
I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn
Filled up with my brown rice
Yes, I do

Oh, but folks lately I have been spotted
With a Big Mac on my breath
Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders
With a face as white as death

I'm afraid someday theyll find me
Just stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringles Potato Chips
And a Ding Dong by my head

In the daytime I'm Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good Lord have pity on me