Gladiator Eroticvs: The Lesbian Warriors (2001)

DVD Cover (Seduction Cinema)
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Overall Rating 45%
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Ranked #9,884
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Beautiful and powerful Roman General Eroticus vows revenge after being enslaved by Dickus Minimus and must train to become the most feared and least clothed Gladiator. --IMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: October 20, 2006
It's time for another one of those erotic spoofs from our friends over at Seduction Cinema, and this time, they take on the Russell Crowe "masterpiece" known as Gladiator. I suppose I shouldn't be too harsh on the source material considering that I haven't actually seen it, but c'mon - it's Russell Crowe, how good could it have been? However, I suppose that I should put the cheap shots aside and get down to business with the review.

Eroticus (Darian Caine) is a fierce warrior who has been promised the throne and the chance to rule all of Rome, but sadly, she is betrayed by Dickus Minimus (John Paul Fedele) who goes on to take the throne for himself. Now an outcast, Eroticus eventually meets up with slave master Fellatio (Debbie Rochon), a lady who forcibly teaches our hero all the fine points of lesbian-gladiator fighting. Eroticus quickly rises above the competition and all is good, until Senators Titus Lickus (POPcinema honcho Michael Raso) and Crackus (John Link) take notice of the ladies. They quickly spread the word throughout Rome, and it doesn't take long before the fine Roman people lose interest in the male-dominated gladiator pits and move on to the lesbian-oriented "fights" that Eroticus is involved in. Dickus isn't too pleased about the loss in attendance at his battles, so he sets out to crush Eroticus once and for all; however, his sister Clitoris (Misty Mundae) tends to side with the lesbians, if you catch my drift. Also showing up throughout the running time are some of the usual POPcinema ladies, including Jade Duboir, Katie Jordan, A.J. Khan, Ruby Larocca and Lilly Tiger.

Much like the many other Seduction Cinema parodies, this one is chock full of gross-out humor and softcore lesbian scenes. It's an interesting combination, as always, especially if you're the type of person who believes that a scene involving a vomitorium (complete with a good three minutes of visual puke jokes) can only be properly followed by a lesbian orgy. Needless to say, I personally find the combination to be pretty enjoyable (I do keep watching them, after all), especially when the jokes work out as good as they do here.

This one was shot prior to Misty's rise to fame with Seduction Cinema, so those of you looking for another starring role of hers would probably be disappointed by this one. Misty is given a fair amount of time, but she is by no means the star of this one. That honor goes to Darian Caine, and although her voice is dubbed over throughout the running time for some unknown reason, she does show why she was at one time considered to be the poster child of Seduction Cinema. John Fedele is also great in his starring role as the pansy leader, but I have to give the most credit to John Link. Link played a relatively minor role in the grand scheme of things, but some of his lines absolutely killed me and he easily stole the show almost every time he showed up.

Overall, this parody doesn't quite rank up there with some of the other greats that Seduction Cinema has put out, but it's still a worthy addition to your collection if you enjoy these films. There's some very funny moments to be found and plenty of steamy softcore action (everything we've come to know and love from these films), but it does seem to be missing that certain something that made some of the other parodies like Lord Of The G-Strings and Kinky Kong so memorable. However, it's still a good addition to your collection as I've already mentioned - just remember that this isn't the cream of the crop. 5/10.
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