Sexy American Idle (2004)

DVD Cover (Seduction Cinema)
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Overall Rating 53%
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Ranked #10,537
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Northeast Westover is putting on a splashy talent competition to end all talent competitions. Hosted by the obnoxious duo Neil and Bob and lorded over by a panel of delectable judges and drunken British rocker Glitter Bolan, all manners of bizarre personalities, inept acts and talentless hacks are encouraged to take the stage to do what they do worst! In the midst of the carnival atmosphere and dog-eat-dog competition, there's more than ample time for the luscious and promiscuous hopefuls to discover where their true talents lie. They can't carry a tune or dance a lick, but these gorgeous women know how to "perform," and it makes for Reality TV at its uncensored best. --IMDb
Review by Tristan
Added: February 22, 2008
Seduction Cinema is excellent at creating sex-horror movies. It's just a fact. Another thing they're great at is taking a popular primetime show and making a legitimately funny movie with some sex thrown in. Erotic Survivor is a perfect example, and a perfect movie. I'm not here to talk about that movie however, but a part of me wishes I was. Misty Mundae has been working her way up my "hottest girls ever" list over the past few years, and it seems that with each new movie she makes, she not only gets that much sexier, but she hones her acting abilities. As I was browsing eBay one morning, looking to expand my Misty collection, I stumbled across this little number for a very reasonable price. When I opened the parcel, it didn't even have time to hit the table, as it was immediately in my DVD player. What I'd hoped would be yet another entertaining movie from our friends at Seduction Cinema ended up being a very lackluster and pointless film.

For the three people out there who haven't watched American Idol, the premise is simple. Contestants - with or without talent - get up in front of three judges and do their best to "wow!" them with a song. It is a mystery to me why this show took off, but for some reason, Americans eat it up like meatloaf; they love it. It's the same idea for this movie. A bunch of contestants travel to Northeast Westover to get up in front of judges, and do their thing. Unfortunately "their thing" is really terrible, and each contestant must face the harsh words of Glitter Bolan (John Paul Fedele), Maria Snart (Anoushka) and Eunice Willnotbe (Julian Wells). As you can probably tell, this show runs anything but smoothly, as the contestants begin sleeping with the judges to ensure themselves a place in the final group. And there is definitely no lack of strange quirks and bizarre personalities in this bunch. We are treated to Allanah (Julian Wells again) - the clumsy dancer, Emily (Misty Mundae) - the cute but talentless singer, Ice (Darian Caine) - the , and Burn Girl (Julian Wells yet again) - the burn victim with a dream, among others. As you can imagine, they get into quite the hijinks on and off the stage.

Overall, a pretty nice selection of the Seduction Cinema heavy hitters. Most of them have very little screen time, and are only around for a couple of minutes, but they all did a great job. Except for Anoushka who I've always hated, and after this performance, still hate. The woman is unattractive and talentless, and for some unknown reason, manages to poke her foreign nose into roles she doesn't deserve.

Julian Wells absolutely stole the show in this one. I've never cared much for her before in the rest of her Seduction Cinema and Shock-O-Rama projects, but she actually got some laughs out of me with this one. I hope that she can one day get some roles outside this studio, as she is a very talented actress, and apparently quite funny. Misty did a fantastic job in her role, but it was brief, and therefore I find it ridiculous that she was given top billing. It was so short, it was almost a cameo; but I can understand why she was given this position. She's become a rock star in the softcore porn world, and her name being attached to any project is enough to generate a lot of interest from fans such as myself.

So where did this movie go wrong? I've given it nothing but praise so far, but if you think about it, I haven't. I've said the actors did a good job, and it was nice to see the familiar faces of the SC girls. Other than that, this movie was a complete bust. It wasn't funny for the most part, aside from Ms. Wells, and the sex/nudity was at an all-time low. I must admit however, that I had the R rated version of this film. According to the schmuck on eBay, this was the unrated version. So either he's lying, and I got ripped off, or there isn't an unrated version, and this movie is just as mediocre as the version I just watched.

It really kills me to have to give this one a low score, but I have to be honest; I sort of despised the movie. I guess I just had a general idea of how the movie would be, and when it didn't live up to that expectation, I was disappointed. There were some pretty funny parts, but overall it was a pretty big disaster. If an unrated version exists I suggest tracking that down, as the R rated version I have fell a little short in the sex department, and even shorter in the nudity department. I'm all of sex parodies, but I would appreciate it if there was actually some sex in it. Especially coming from Seduction Cinema, my only source of "erotic" DVDs. The only good thing that came about from this purchase was another Misty title to add to my growing collection, and the film's soundtrack which was surprisingly good. So do I suggest this movie to you folks out there? It's a tough call, because my love for Misty has me torn. If she wasn't in this movie, I wouldn't have expected much, and therefore wouldn't have been as disappointed. On the other hand, I'm disappointed in her decision to be in this movie. I suppose to be fair I'd have to suggest it to only the hardcore Misty fans. If you've seen her in one or two movies, and think she's alright, skip this one. It's a sad day for MvMMDI when two Misty movies in a row have to get a sub-par rating.

Chad #1: Chad - added 03/02/2008, 07:20 PM
My word, how can you not love Anoushka?
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