The Naughty Novelist (2008)

DVD Cover (Seduction Cinema)
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Overall Rating 41%
Overall Rating
Ranked #9,955
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Darian is a successful journalist but when she moves to a new town she starts looking for work. When she answers an ad in the local paper she finds the job is writing lesbian erotica and its not long before fantasy becomes reality. --IMDb
Review by Chad
Added: October 12, 2008
It's been a while since we've covered any old-fashioned sleaze on this site, but thanks to the good folks over at Seduction Cinema, we've got a new sexploitation piece to take a look at. This one comes to us courtesy of John Bacchus, the man responsible for a large portion of Seduction Cinema's better offerings, and it also features two of Seduction's most infamous ladies in the leading roles - what could go wrong? Well, something did indeed go wrong, but let's get the storyline out of the way first, shall we?

Kicking things off, we learn that Darian (Darian Caine) has just moved into a new apartment and is in desperate need of a job. Luck is with her when she picks up the daily newspaper, as she immediately spots a writing job; being a writer by trade, this opportunity just screams of a blessing from the Gods above. After going in for an interview with the owner (A.J. Khan) and her assistant (Jackie Stevens), she finds that this isn't exactly the kind of writing job that she had in mind: the magazine is entitled "Flesh for Fantasy", and it serves up erotic literature that aims to please the female demographic. Regardless, she also learns that the job pays $500 for every story, so Darian quickly races home, strips down to her lingerie, and gets busy writing the dirtiest stories this side of Hustler. Of course, this being a Seduction Cinema release, we get to see each of these exclusively girl-girl stories played out. Juliet Janes, Jenna Jones, and Claire Davenport round out the cast.

At its core, Naughty Novelist is your typical softcore flick. It features a flimsy storyline that provides little more than an explanation for the repeated softcore lesbian adventures, and... well, it features a lot of hot ladies in softcore lesbian adventures. Now, I judge movies based on what they attempted to provide the target audience, not how important they are in the overall world of film; a 10/10 for a softcore film should not be compared to a 10/10 for, say, Halloween. This rating would imply that I enjoyed both films for what they offered in their respective genres, but by no means would I be saying that they were on equal footing in the grand scheme of things.

So, with that said, I believe that this film deserves slightly more than a mid-range rating based solely on the fact that the filmmakers accomplished the goal that they originally had in mind: show us lots of flesh, show us plenty of lesbian action, and tie it all together with a story of some type. They succeeded at that, so it would be silly of me to give the film a low rating; however, there were some problems that did affect my overall entertainment.

For starters, the entire film suffers from a washed-out look, as though half of the color was drained out in post-processing. I assume that this was a creative decision as none of the other Seduction Cinema or John Bacchus films that I've seen have suffered from this, but regardless, it's irritating as all fuck when you have to watch the entire eighty-minute film in this fashion. It would have worked to spice up a single scene or two, but an entire movie? Please, don't try that again, it just doesn't look very good.

My other problem with the film was the lack of realistic action. Wait, let me explain. Now, I'm fully aware that softcore films feature simulated sex; obviously, that's the key difference between softcore and hardcore. I realize that when you're watching one woman go down on another in a softcore flick, they're not really performing oral sex on one another. I know this, but being reminded of it time and time again really hurts the single goal that the filmmakers were obviously going for as it's hard to do much but laugh when you're constantly watching close-ups of a lady licking air six inches away from another woman's crotch. Almost every softcore film exposes the "business" (or lack thereof) from time to time, but you could almost make a drinking game out of it while watching this one.

Still, these two issues do not totally ruin the film, because if you pick this up wanting to see some softcore action, you're going to get your money's worth and enjoy most of it. You'll get a healthy mix of familiar faces and up-and-cummers, you get some actual variety in the scenes instead of the same ol' girl-on-girl that most softcore is content to provide us with, and there's even a little humor sprinkled in for good measure (I got a good chuckle out of the "We don't have any ottoman's, so you can just use my ass" line in a scene aimed towards foot fetishists). It's not a great film even by softcore standards, but at the same time, it's not a bad one and you won't be able to say that you didn't get what you paid for. 6/10.
Griffinheart #1: Griffinheart - added 10/13/2008, 12:45 AM
Got the ol' screen shot capturer up and running, do ya?
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