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Dr. Demento 20th Anniversary Collection
Disc 1
01. Delicious!
02. The Scotsman
03. Junk Food Junkie
04. Eat It
05. Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour (on the Bedpost Overnight)
06. Wet Dream
07. Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah!
08. Wappin’
09. The Purple People Eater
10. Monster Mash
11. Cocktails for Two
12. Transfusion
13. Beep Beep
14. St. George and the Dragonet
15. Witch Doctor
16. Gitarzan
17. Earache My Eye
18. Dead Puppies
Disc 2
01. Dancin’ Fool
02. Star Trekkin’
03. The Time Warp
04. Masochism Tango
05. The Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun
06. The Ballad of Irving
07. The Battle of Kookamonga
08. King Tut
09. Der Fuehrer’s Face
10. Fish Heads
11. Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
12. Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take the Garbage Out
13. The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati
14. Surfin’ Bird
15. Pencil Neck Geek
16. Ti Kwan Leep / Boot to the Head
17. Existential Blues
18. They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!
It was April the 41st
Being a quadruple leap year
I was driving through downtown Atlantis
My Barracuda was in the shop, so
I was in a rented Stingray
And it was overheating
So I pulled into a Shell station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing
And leave my private life out of it
Okay, pal?"

While they were doing that
I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar
A real dive
But I knew the owner
He used to play for the Dolphins
I said, "Hi, Gil!"
You hafta yell, he's hard of herring

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' through the Gulf Stream
Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Wet dream

Gil was also down on his luck
Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water
I gullied up to the sandbar
He poured the usual
Rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side Heavy on the mako
I slipped him a fin, on porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids
For the halibut

Well, the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines
They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal
What sole
Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna Salmon Chanted Evening
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
Probably there to see the bass player

One of them was this cute little yellowtail
And she's giving me the eye
So I figure, this is my chance for a little fun
You know -- a piece of Pisces

But she said things I just couldn't fathom
She was too deep
Seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink
She drank like a... she drank a lot
I said, "What's your sign?"
She said, "Aquarium"
I said, "Great! Let's get tanked."

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' through the Gulf Stream
Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Wet dream

I invite her up to my place for a little midnight bait
I say, "C'mon baby, it'll only take a few minnows"
She threw me that same old line
"Not tonight, I got a haddock"

And she wasn't kiddin' either
'Cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock
I'd ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with mussels
He came over to me,
He said, "Listen shrimp
Don't you come trolling around here"
What a crab
This guy was steamed
I could see the anchor in his eyes

I turned to him
I said, "Abalone! You're just being shellfish"
Well, I knew there was going to be trouble
And so did Gil
'Cause he was already on the phone to the cods
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
It was a fluke
But there he was, lying on the deck
Flat as a mackerel
Kelpless

I said, "Forget the cods, Gil
This guy's gonna need a sturgeon"
Well, the yellowtail was impressed
With the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me, she said
"Hey big boy, you're really a game fish"
"What's your name?"
I said, "Marlin"

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' through the Gulf Stream
Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Wet dream

Well from then on, we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner
I took her to dance
I bought her a bouquet of flounders
And then I went home with her
And what did I get for my trouble?
A case of the clams

Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' through the Gulf Stream
Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Wet dream