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Dr. Demento Presents: The Greatest Novelty CD of All Time
01. Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
02. Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor (on the Bedpost Over Night)
03. Cocktails for Two
04. Transfusion
05. King Tut
06. Hooray for Captain Spalding
07. Star Trekkin'
08. Wet Dream
09. Fish Heads
10. Eat It
11. Junkfood Junkie
12. The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun
13. The Purple People Eater
14. Monster Mash
15. Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh! (A Letter From Camp)
16. Pencil Neck Geek
17. Earache My Eye
18. Dead Puppies
19. They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!
Star Trekkin' across the universe
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk
Star Trekkin' across the universe
Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse

(Lieutenant Uhura, report!)

There's Klingons on the starboard bow
Starboard bow
Starboard bow
There's Klingons on the starboard bow
Starboard bow, Jim!

(Analysis, Mr. Spock)

It's life, Jim
But not as we know it
Not as we know it
Not as we know it
It's life, Jim
But not as we know it
Not as we know it, Captain

There's Klingons on the starboard bow
Starboard bow
Starboard bow
There's Klingons on the starboard bow
Starboard bow, Jim!

Star Trekkin' across the universe
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk
Star Trekkin' across the universe
Boldly going forward - still can't find reverse!

(Medical update, Dr. McCoy)

It's worse than that
He's dead, Jim
Dead, Jim
Dead, Jim
It's worse than that
He's dead, Jim
Dead, Jim
Dead!

It's life Jim
But not as we know it
Not as we know it
Not as we know it
It's life Jim
But not as we know it
Not as we know it, Captain

There's Klingons on the starboard bow
Starboard bow
Starboard bow
There's Klingons on the starboard bow
Starboard bow, Jim!

(Starship Captain, James T. Kirk!)

Ah! We come in peace
Shoot to kill
Shoot to kill
Shoot to kill
We come in peace
Shoot to kill
Shoot to kill, men

It's worse than that
He's dead, Jim
Dead, Jim
Dead, Jim
It's worse than that
He's dead, Jim
Dead, Jim
Dead!

Well, it's life, Jim
But not as we know it
Not as we know it
Not as we know it
It's life, Jim
But not as we know it
Not as we know it, Captain

There's Klingons on the starboard bow
Starboard bow
Starboard bow
There's Klingons on the starboard bow
Scrape them off, Jim!

Star Trekkin' across the universe
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk
Star Trekkin' across the universe
Boldly going forward and things are getting worse!

(Engine room? Mr. Scott?)

Ye cannae change the laws of physics
Laws of physics
Laws of physics
Ye cannae change the laws of physics
Laws of physics, Jim!

Ah! We come in peace
Shoot to kill
Shoot to kill
Shoot to kill
We come in peace
Shoot to kill
Scotty, beam me up!

It's worse than that
He's dead, Jim
Not as we know it
There's Klingons on the starboard bow
Starboard bow
Starboard bow
There's Klingons on the starboard bow
Starboard bow, Jim!

Ye cannae change the script, och, see you, Jimmy!

It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim!

Bridge to engine room: Warp factor 9!

Och, if I give it any more she'll blow, Cap'n!

(Explosion)

Star Trekkin' across the universe
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk
Star Trekkin' across the universe
Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse

Star Trekkin' across the universe
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk
Star Trekkin' across the universe
Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse!