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Dr. Demento Presents: The Greatest Novelty CD of All Time
01. Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
02. Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor (on the Bedpost Over Night)
03. Cocktails for Two
04. Transfusion
05. King Tut
06. Hooray for Captain Spalding
07. Star Trekkin'
08. Wet Dream
09. Fish Heads
10. Eat It
11. Junkfood Junkie
12. The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun
13. The Purple People Eater
14. Monster Mash
15. Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh! (A Letter From Camp)
16. Pencil Neck Geek
17. Earache My Eye
18. Dead Puppies
19. They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!
Ooooooooooooooo
Oh what delight to be given the right
To be care-free and gay once again
Oooooooooooooo
No longer slinking, respectfully drinking
Like civilized ladies and men
Ooooooooooooo
No longer need we miss
A charming scene like this...
In some secluded rendezvous
(Whoopee, whistle, bang)
That overlooks the avenue
(Horn noises)
With someone sharing a delightful chat (yickety yickety)
Of this and that with cocktails for two
(Clink clink)
As we enjoy a cigarette
(Wheezing cough)
To some exquisite chansonette
(Fiddle sound)
Two hands are sure to slyly meet beneath
The serviette with cocktails for two
(Clink clink)
My head may go reeling
(Slide whistle)
But my heart will be obedient
(Heartbeat sound)
With intoxicating kisses
For the principal ingredient
(Pop fizz laugh)
Most any afternoon at five
(Ding ding ding ding)
We'll be so glad we're both alive
(Ahhhhh)
Then maybe fortune will complete the plan
That all began with cocktails for two
(Clink crash)
(Musical interlude with hiccups & other strange noises)
Most any afternoon at five
(Sunday to Monday at five)
We'll be so glad we're both alive
(We'll be so glad we're alive)
Then maybe fortune will complete her plan
That all began with cocktails for two (hic) two (hic hic) two-we-ooh (hic)