Mistress Of Seduction (2000)

DVD Cover (Secret Key Motion Pictures)
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Overall Rating 49%
Overall Rating
Ranked #13,850
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Vampirina, the lesbian daughter of Dracula, has been searching for the reincarnated soul of the vampire killer responsible for her father's death. Now she believes she has found it--in the body of a young and beautiful college student. --IMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: September 8, 2007
What is it about vampires that makes the goth boys and girls cream their panties? I mean, when you think about it, vampires are soulless corpses that feed on human blood not unlike a parasite would, and that whole "sleeping in coffins with dirt from Transylvania" thing is just icky. My OCD rears its ugly head if there's a bit of cat hair in my bed, and you expect me to idolize someone who sleeps in old, musty dirt? Yeesh. Alas, I guess it was that damned Anne Rice broad that turned these beasts into metrosexual Don Juans, so while we know who to blame for it, I still don't get the whole appeal of these things. Tonight's film features a bunch of these goth ladies who dig the undead, and while I could have done without the softcore aspect of the film, the rest wasn't that bad - by low-budget vampire flick standards, anyway.

The storyline for this one focuses on Vampirina (Alysabeth Clements), a centuries-old vampire who has nothing but revenge and lesbian sex on her mind. The 'revenge' thing is due to college film student John (Thomas Martwick) being the reincarnation of the man who killed her father centuries ago, and the 'lesbian sex' aspect of the film comes into play because... well, because it's a Seduction Cinema / Secret Key Motion Pictures release. What, were you expecting a valid reason there? Anyway, there are some conditions to Vampirina's revenge as even the undead have to abide by certain laws, and the main clause in her revenge contract states that she must make John fall in love with her before she can rip out his heart and dine on it. Damned details, let me tell you...

There's basically two separate films to be found throughout the running time, with one being a low-budget vampire flick and the other being a softcore porn offering. Let me explain. You see, Vampirina will be going about her vampire business and doing her vampire duties, when all of a sudden, she'll come across an attractive blonde or a hot brunette and have a small bit of conversation with her. Vampirina will leave the scene, but the camera stays with the woman who she was just chatting with, and we at home then get to witness this character go about having some good ol' lesbian sex with another random character. These ladies have no relevance to the storyline whatsoever and only serve to up the T&A dosage (ironically, the leading lady never really strips throughout the entire thing), and after they've finished their business, it's back to the "real" film we go. Random and gratuitous nudity is usually fun, but it just felt completely out of place here.

The other half of the film, as previously mentioned, wasn't too bad by low-budget vampire flick standards. Sure, there's really nothing original or groundbreaking here and the gore (while decent) wasn't anything to write home about, but it was better than a lot of the other vampire movies on the market. The storyline is much better than one would expect from a film like this (especially considering the softcore aspect), and there's even a couple of genuine surprises along the way (I have to admit that I didn't see that ending coming). This is aided considerably by a cast that, while not exactly award-winning actors, were entertaining to watch. You could tell that they were having fun in their roles and were comfortable in front of the camera, and that certainly paid off by way of an entertaining film... and isn't that what's really important when all is said and done?

Bottom line: if you're a fan of vampire movies, check it out. It's not the greatest thing in the world and it won't top any "favorite movies" lists, but it's a whole lot better than a lot of the other cheap "let's make a vampire movie!" offerings littering store shelves (and trust me, I've seen a lot of them). 6/10, and it probably would have been higher without the softcore stuff.
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