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60%
Overall Rating
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Ranked #1,179
...out of 14,051 movies
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After being committed for 17 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution (where he was committed as a 10 year old) and he immediately returns to Haddonfield, where he wants to find his baby sister, Laurie. Anyone who crosses his path is in mortal danger.
--TMDb
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The mystery is over. For years, horror fans across the globe have sought an answer to that age old question - if Michael Myers had a theme song, what would it be? Evidently, according to director Rob Zombie - "Love Hurts" by Nazareth? To call "Halloween" a disaster of epic proportions would be the understatement of the year. It is, quite simply, awful. It's the worst remake I have ever seen, and that includes "Black Christmas" from last year. It's Rob Zombie taking an unintended piss all over everything that made the original film so memorable. It's utter garbage.
We all know the story, now here are the twists. The first half of the film deals with Michael Myers as a child, being raised by a stripper mother, a crippled stepfather and a bitch of a sister. He likes to torture animals and eventually massacres his entire family. He is placed under the care of Dr. Sam Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) and stays locked away at Smith's Grove for years. Then, on Halloween night, he escapes and returns to Haddonfield to find the sister he left behind. But, this Michael is a bit different than the one we remember. He can catch anyone because he's eight feet tall and strides like a gazelle. He's like bigfoot in a Halloween mask. He also likes to kill people with his bare hands, as opposed to using weapons, though he does use some. This Michael Myers is played as more realistic, which makes him seem more oafish than frightening.
Everything about this film is wrong, so wrong. The first half of the film is pitiful, with Rob Zombie trying to establish this troubled background for Michael - it could have been done in half the time. What is it about Zombie, but he seems to have this fascination with trailer trash. He thinks there is nothing funnier than a woman in a bathrobe threatening her trucker husband with a skillet. The film opens with such a scene and it sets the tone for the rest of the film. Zombie's dialogue here is as bad as you can get, with very little actually coming from the original. And if you're going to have Michael Myers as a kid and you're going to make him so vocal, please try and find a child actor who is up to the task and doesn't look like Eric Stoltz from "Mask". That's all we ask. Sheri Moon, as Michael's stripper mother, is beyond dreadful and really needs to give up the acting. And, when Dr. Loomis enters for the first time, he seems to be walking out of "Welcome Back, Kotter".
When Michael reaches Haddonfield, it gets even worse. Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie, Danielle Harris as Annie and Kristina Klebe as Lynda are just plain bad. When they're walking down the street - I wanted them all dead right then and there. And Michael Myers just pops in and out like it's "Where's Waldo?" or something - why can no one see him? The three girls see this eight foot tall guy in a white mask and don't think anything's a little off? The Haddonfield segment seems to take about ten minutes, with choppy editing, a storyline that really lacks focus and some of the most ridiculous death scenes I have seen before. By trying to make him more realistic, Zombie has turned Michael Myers into a pedestrian. He's not scary anymore. He's imposing, but not scary. And who thought it was a good idea to kill all of these people who shouldn't have died? Was there nothing about John Carpenter's script that Zombie that was appropriate to respect?
The celebrity cameos are also more distracting than anything else - Clint Howard, Danny Trejo, Udo Kier, Sid Haig - just to name a few. Zombie likes to cast B-movie actors in his films, but most of them are B-movie actors for a reason. Here, his whole collection is on display. Brad Dourif gets a role worth noting as Sheriff Brackett, but he's really not that good in it. The same can be said for Malcolm McDowell as Loomis - he just looks plain lost, and he gets some really bad dialogue, compared to Donald Pleasence's dialogue from the original. When Zombie can make Malcolm McDowell look this lost, something is wrong with that picture. But, it's not just him. Tyler Mane makes a piss poor Michael Myers. He looks like Andre the Giant. He acts mentally retarded. The only thing scary about him is the fact that he might bump his head on the ceiling. And when he is about to kill Danny Trejo - "Mikey - I treated you good!" Wow. Nice set up there, Rob.
This movie was just plain bad. There are no redeeming qualities to be found therein. It's as bad as I thought it would be, and worse. It's the worst remake I've ever seen. Rob Zombie has found a way to create the worst possible remake of "Halloween"...it couldn't be worse, I don't think. Everyone in the theatre was pissed off when this film ended because everyone in the theatre hated it as much as I did. We had people leave the theatre frequently to go home. I considered it. I am a huge fan of the original and think John Carpenter a genius. I want to hear his reaction to how this film turned out. I would love to have watched his reaction when he saw it the first time. How could it be anything other than horror and shock and awe and disgust at what Rob Zombie has done to his baby. "Halloween" is a disaster. It's garbage. It's worthless. It deserves to burn in hell.
0/10.
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#1:
ThunderStruck5a
- added 08/31/2007, 12:44 PM
i havent seen it yet but its a shame to hear it
was that bad. Rob Zombie's done some pretty awsome
stuff in his lifetime.
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#2:
bluemeanie
- added 08/31/2007, 12:59 PM
He sure has. I very much enjoyed "House of 1,000
Corpses" and thought "The Devil's Rejects" was
brilliant. This one just misses the mark.
Actually, it never even sees the mark. Too much
public and studio pressure to make this film a hit
probably messed with Zombie's head a little.
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#3:
ThunderStruck5a
- added 08/31/2007, 01:05 PM
im sure it was just a market run fluke and once he
starts doing his original stuff again itll all be
good.
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#4:
bluemeanie
- added 08/31/2007, 01:09 PM
I am hoping so, because there was nothing Rob
Zombie about this movie other than the actors.
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#5:
QuietMan
- added 08/31/2007, 10:41 PM
I loved it n I thought there was alot of zombie in
it but i'm not a reviewer so i'll just keep it to
myself i figure my comments are normally enjoyed
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#6:
Ginose
- added 09/01/2007, 03:45 AM
This was the best use of a Friday night in
years.
This is, first and foremost, a Rob
Zombie movie.
I will not argue most points
of your review, it's completely true for the most
part.
I really don't want to bother trying
to fit how much I loved this movie into here, I'll
just do another review... I mean... wow...
8.5/10
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#7:
QuietMan
- added 09/01/2007, 04:12 AM
i ment aren't*
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#8:
bluemeanie
- added 09/01/2007, 02:56 PM
I am shocked ans awed by your statement that this
is a Rob Zombie. It truly is not. It's like Rob
Zombie trying too hard to make it seem like a Rob
Zombie movie, but just couldn't pull it off. He
needs to stick with his own material, because --
wow -- I still just can't believe you liked it.
And the second half of the film was basically a
shot by shot and line by line remake of the
original, just with bad actors and terrible
editing.
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#9:
Ginose
- added 09/01/2007, 04:27 PM
as I said, I'll explain all my reasoning behind
liking this film when i finish my review, just
hold on 'til then, okay? I'll be explaining it
plainly.
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#10:
Cryptorchild
- added 09/01/2007, 05:40 PM
I just got back from watching this. I kind of
have mixed feelings. I don't see how it could be
as bad as the review says. It's not
horrible...but it's not perfect either. When
compared to the orginal...it doesn't stand a
chance. But I do think it is one of the better
horror movie to have came out in awhile. I will
agree with the bad editing though. Shit, there
were times when the camera work and editing made
me dizzy. But all in all, I thought it was a
decent movie. Will it stand the test of time like
the orginal? Fuck no. I would just go in and
watch it like any other movie....forget the hype,
reviews, everything and come to your own decision.
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#11:
cky2kendall
- added 09/01/2007, 08:17 PM
I went into this objectively. I knew without a
shadow of a doubt that it couldn't stand against
the original. Remakes never do. But even has a
horror movie, it just feels flawed. The first half
is decent enough. It's stereotypical trailer
trash, but it could be worse. The transition of
Michael growing up is a little out of nowhere too,
but again, I can forgive that. The second half, in
Haddonfield, is fucking horrible though.
Everything moves too fast. Michael is everywhere.
He kills 2 people, then a short cut, and he's back
killing more people. It just feels very out of
place and too fast. The actors make up for it I
guess, since Dr Loomis and Laurie both have
brilliant actors. The ghost scene was a nice
throwback too. I dunno, I was just a little
underwhelmed. Without comparing this to the
previous Halloween films, it's still poor in terms
of horror.
4/10
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#12:
Crispy
- added 09/03/2007, 11:57 AM
I think he should have taken the first half,
changed the kids name, and just continued the
original story. I was really enjoying it until it
hit the remake stage. 5/10 for me.
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#13:
bluemeanie
- added 09/03/2007, 05:34 PM
"Evil Has A Destiny" -- the $5.50 bin at Wal-Mart.
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#14:
Ginose
- added 09/03/2007, 06:23 PM
Movies I've baught from the $5.50 bib:
"Escape from New York" 2-disc set
"Big
Trouble in Little China" 2-disc set
"Kids"
"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"
"Haunte Tension"
"House of 1000
Corpses"
"Young Frankenstein"
"The
Haunting" (Original)
"The Changling"
"The Hitcher"
"Enter the Dragon"
Bad joke, homie.
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#15:
Crispy
- added 09/03/2007, 06:42 PM
You say 5.50 bin like its a bad thing
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#16:
Tristan
- added 09/04/2007, 08:51 AM
Those are actually some pretty good finds for
under $10
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#17:
bluemeanie
- added 09/04/2007, 10:17 AM
But, there are just as many bad titles. 1/2 my
DVD collection is from the $5.50 bin.
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#18:
bluemeanie
- added 09/04/2007, 01:02 PM
And I stand by the joke proudly. "Soul Survivors"
is bad enough to stink up the whole God damned
bin.
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#19:
Crispy
- added 09/04/2007, 01:13 PM
I recently found "War of the Roses" in the bargain
bin, which is enough to overcome any stench.
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#20:
bluemeanie
- added 09/04/2007, 01:17 PM
Until you dig around and find a piece of shit like
"The Devil's Rain" starring Ernest Borgnine and
William Shatner. Yeah.
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#21:
Crispy
- added 09/04/2007, 01:19 PM
Ew, well if you're digging that far in the bin
than I have no pity for you.
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#22:
bluemeanie
- added 09/04/2007, 01:21 PM
Neither did Ernest Borgnine or William
Shatner...oh, co-starring Tom Skerritt and John
Travolta.
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#23:
Crispy
- added 09/04/2007, 01:22 PM
ZING
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#24:
Crispy
- added 09/05/2007, 03:27 PM
So, stumbled upon this little factoid. Danielle
Harris, the chick who played Annie, played Jamie
in 4 and 5. Who knew
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#25:
bluemeanie
- added 09/06/2007, 03:59 PM
Everyone, I thought.
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#26:
Crispy
- added 09/06/2007, 04:08 PM
Well....I caught up....yeah :)
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#27:
bluemeanie
- added 09/06/2007, 04:52 PM
Just in the nick of time.
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#28:
Crispy
- added 09/06/2007, 08:10 PM
Day late and a dollar short, the story of my life.
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#29:
Tristan
- added 09/12/2007, 09:49 AM
0/10.
I've seen some bad movies in my day,
but never have I wanted to walk out of the theater
so badly. The second this movie ended, I was out
of there. As far as the workprint everyone saw a
few days before the movie's release...it's a
different movie. My friend and I had an argument
about it, and it turns out that the ending is
completely different. But yeah, horrible horrible
horrible movie. All bias aside (I hate Zombie's
movies) this movie was just bad. I really can't
think of a moment that was even like "Oh yeah,
that part was kinda cool". I agree with Billy Ray
100% on this one.
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#30:
Nirrad
- added 11/26/2007, 11:31 AM
Tristan, you say there wasn't a part that made you
think "That part was kinda cool!", even though you
said directly to me that the part when Micheal
kills the father was kinda cool, and gave you a
small jolt........and a 0/10??!?!?, worse than
Resurrection, III and 5?.........you fucking fan
boys......
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#31:
bluemeanie
- added 11/26/2007, 03:09 PM
Fan boys has nothing to do with it. The film is
garbage. The WORST of the entire franchise, from
top to bottom. I thought there was one cool part
too, where Michael is slamming the 2x4 into the
ceiling, but it wasn't enough to give it higher
than a 0/10. It was fucking worthless, fan boy or
not.
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#32:
grain of sand
- added 12/21/2007, 06:30 AM
eh, I just rented this.. save for a brutal death
or 2, this was horrible.
1/10
for the nudity and the 1 or 2 brutal deaths, and
I think that's just me being drunk and way too
generous
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#33:
Chad
- added 12/22/2007, 01:53 AM
So yeah, finally saw this. In no way did it top
the original, but as far as remakes go... I've
seen much, much worse. This one was decent
enough, certainly worth far more than a 0/10. My
opinion? 7/10 sounds about right.
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#34:
Tristan
- added 12/27/2007, 05:25 PM
I'm with Robbie on this one. I only bought it to
see Danielle Harris' rack again. And maybe the
unrated material will be interesting, but
basically just for that 20 seconds of flesh.
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#35:
Nirrad
- added 01/07/2008, 10:28 PM
Holy shit a 7? Finally someone else who likes it.
I really did enjoy this movie. I've never seen the
theatrical cut, but the work-print and directors
cut were great in my opinion. Still, I wish they
kept some stuff from the work print into the final
film.
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#36:
duck
- added 04/02/2008, 02:53 PM
the fuck is wrong with people, rob zombie a good
director? house of 1000 corpses was absolutely
pathetic. the fuck kind of name is dr. satan for a
villian? devil's rejects belongs in the bargain
bin at your neighborhood dallar store it was so
ridicilious.
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#37:
C L
- added 04/20/2008, 08:26 PM
It was much better than the reviews here led me to
believe. I'm a Rob Zombie fan, so I wanted to see
if it was really that bad. I disagree with all of
the hate for this movie. I thought it was a
respectful homage to the original. 7/10
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#38:
bluemeanie
- added 04/24/2008, 12:44 PM
A RESPECTFUL HOMAGE...???!!! Wow. That makes me
giggle.
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#39:
Shakes
- added 07/06/2008, 07:12 PM
OK. Wow. Allow me to clear a few things up. If you
went into this movie expecting too much, or
worse--to compare it to the original, then you
went about it the absolute wrong way! To compare
it to the original is retarded. John Carpenter
told Zombie to do what he wanted with it. He
didn't give a fuck. I like all of Zombie's movies,
I think they're great and he's got his own style
going on. I'm also a fan of Carpenter, I grew up
on horror films. Anyhoo, I remember I guess back
in August I went to see HALLOWEEN and I left
actually liking it FOR WHAT IT WAS and it wasn't
nearly as bad as so many fans whined. It was a
psychological thriller (the first half) and the
rest was a fine slasher flick. Take it for what it
is. If you didn't like it, then the good news is
you'll never have to sit through it ever again,
and I'm sure that idea comforts you. I've seen it
a few times and I enjoy it! 7.5/10
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#40:
bluemeanie
- added 07/07/2008, 10:22 AM
LOL...'psychological thriller'...LOL...
It's kind of hard to not compare it to the
original when (01) it was a remake, not a
re-imagining, as Zombie had stated, (02) Zombie
went out of his way to fashion it, especially the
last half, just like the original. There were
lots of lines and sequences taken directly from
the source material.
Now, tell me --
how do you not compare something like that to the
original?
Not comparing it is
ridiculous.
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#41:
Shakes
- added 07/07/2008, 02:08 PM
The reason you shouldn't compare the two is
because first off you shouldn't expect it to be
like the original. It's meant to be viewed as a
totally different film (because in fact, it is ,
for the most part). You can't beat Carpenter's
Halloween,and comparing them is only setting
yourself up for disappointment from the very
beginning. It was a combination of a prequel and
remake. Most of it is pretty far-fetched, but it's
still entertaining. If they hadn't used the name
Michael Myers it could've almost been about a
completely different person. And for me, at least,
I don't wanna see a remake that is exactly like
the original only set in modern day times. This
movie is not nearly as bad as some people play it
out to be. How ridiculous.
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#42:
bluemeanie
- added 07/07/2008, 02:25 PM
Zombie kept saying how it was a
're-imagining'...it absolutely was NOT. The only
thing re-imagined was Michael Myers origins, and
that was absurd. The character of Michael Myers
was so creepy because we knew so little about him.
The mystery of his evil made him as frightening
as he was. Turning him into just about abused
trailer park kid does not make him scarier. It
just doesn't. The rest of the film was a remake,
hands down...and a bad one. You can't remake
Carpenter...and Zombie proved that. How does
turning Michael Myers into an abused hillbilly
make him scary, please explain...???
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#43:
bluemeanie
- added 07/07/2008, 02:26 PM
And all readers, please note: IT IS EVERY BIT AS
BAD AS I MADE IT OUT TO BE.
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#44:
Shakes
- added 07/07/2008, 05:59 PM
It's not an amazing film by any means, but it's
got balls, and honestly..how did you not enjoy
Michael ruthlessly slaying anybody that crossed
his path? To each their own. I thought it was
pretty cool, though. OneLove~
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#45:
Ginose
- added 09/27/2008, 05:59 AM
Let's be fair, the whole "Micheal is just
evil" aspect turned around and shit itself
around the time the sixth movie was made. I
beleive that that officially crippled all of this
wacky fucking "mysticism" with his
immortality and whatnot. Look, to hold the
back-story thing against him is just silly...
first and foremost, the film never claims that it
was Micheal's upbrining that left him terribly
scarred... God knows how long he was killing those
mice... but it did make for an interesting
building point. Now, it may just be me, but I
never found Mike to be so terrifying that a human
being couldin't escape one of his rampages... now
that I see a brooding 8-foot tall behemoth who can
not only run but apparently knows how to fight now
and STILL carries that nihilistic need for murder
and carnage I can truly see a reason to be afraid
of him... so, seis, yes I think the trailer-trash
monster Mike worked great. As for the back-story,
yes, it was weak, but not without reason. I liked
seeing what happened to Micheal in the
booby-hatch, and it was downright fun to watch him
escape. The excess gore, paintedly sadistic
killing methods and grainy camera-work are all
token Zombie film tactics, so, yes, this did feel
very Zombie-esque through and through.
Could
I mark it down for addign th ham we didn't need?
Sure. But I won't. This was a well-done, ballsy
take on a movie that truly couldn' be remade...
fuck... what kind of idiot would even try to mime
an atmosphere like Carpenter's? Hell, once you've
seen the classic then there's really nothing that
can even hope to match it in terms of
atmosphere... Zombie took the next logical step
and just replaced atmosphere with action, tits and
gore. Clever and very Zombie like, in
practice.
Bring my orignal score of 8.5 to
an 8 even, after my last viewing, but this movie
is still good. Damned good.
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#46:
The Red Clover
- added 09/27/2008, 08:53 PM
Behind all the shitty films there is actually a
decent story behind the whole image of Michael and
I wish I could have seen a take that explained
that a little more. I liked the film because it
dealt more with Michael's childhood but there's no
way I can't agree with the statement, "A
studio pushed Zombie to release a hit."
They did, he failed and I hope Zombie
will go back to his original stuff.
To be fair though, I doubt any remake of a
horror film is going to going to be better then
the original. I can't think of one really but I
could be wrong.
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#47:
Crispy
- added 09/27/2008, 09:43 PM
The Hills Have Eyes
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#48:
Chad
- added 09/27/2008, 09:59 PM
The Thing
The Fly
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#49:
Nirrad
- added 09/28/2008, 02:55 AM
The Blob (IMO)
Amityville Horror (IMO)
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#50:
Shakes
- added 02/07/2009, 03:51 AM
the hills have eyes ???? that has always been
CRAP
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#51:
Rest Easy Soul
- added 12/22/2009, 03:18 PM
I will say I like the original so much better but
I still enjoyed this one quite a bit. Sure it was
raunchy and a lot of the cussing and sex could've
been done without but it was gory, terrific
storyline and very satisfying.
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#52:
DillonBerserk
- added 10/04/2010, 12:44 AM
I like that they gave Michael a better more
strengthy look! 10/10! Although.. for the unrated
version (easier to find in stores) was unnecessary
to include the rape scene where Michael breaks
out. The rated scene was much stronger to me.
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