Here's another slogan. Here's another slogan you run into all the
Time: "God bless America". Once again, respectfully, I say to myself
"What the fuck does that mean?" God bless America? Is that a request?
Is that a demand? Is that a suggestion? Politicians say it at the
End of every speech, as if it were some sort of verbal tic that they
Can't get rid of. "God bless you and God bless America. God bless
You and God bless America." I guess they figure if they leave it out
Someone's gonna think they're bad Americans. Let me tell you a little
Secret about God, folks. God does not give a flying fuck about
America, okay? He doesn't care. He never cared about this country
He never has, He never will, He doesn't care about this country any
More than He cares about Mongolia, Transylvania, Pittsburgh, the Suez
Canal or the North Pole. He simply doesn't care, okay? He doesn't
Care. Listen, hey, there are 200 countries in the world now. Do these
People honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his
Favorites? Why would He do that? Why would God have a favorite
Country? And why would it be America out of all the countries?
Because we have the most money? Because He likes our national
Anthem? Maybe it's because He heard we have 18 delicious flavors
Of classic Rice-A-Roni. It's delusional thinking. It's delusional
Thinking. And Americans are not alone with these sort of delusions
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed
Dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side
America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray
For God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed
Somebody's wasting their fucking time. Could it be... everyone?
Now, now, tell you... ah, if people want to say "God bless America"
That's their business, I don't care, but here's what I don't
Understand. If they say "God bless America", presumably, they believe
In God. And if they do, they must have heard God loved everyone
That's what He said. He loved everyone and He loved them equally
So why would these people ask God to do something that went against
His own teachings? You know what these "God bless America" people
Ought to do? They ought to check with that Jesus fellow they're so
Crazy about. They're always talking about "What would Jesus do? What
Would Jesus do?" They don't want to know so they can do it. They just
Want to know so they can tell other people to do it. Well, I'll tell
You what Jesus would have done. I'll tell you what Jesus would have
Done. He would have got up on the top of the Empire State Building
And said, "God bless everyone around the world forever and ever till
The end of time." That's what Jesus would have done and that's what
These people should do, or else they should admit that "God bless
America" is really just some sort of an empty slogan with no real
Meaning except for something vague like "Good luck". "Good luck
America, you're on your own." Which
Is a little bit closer to the truth
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