Now, somethin' else a lot of you are aware of
Those of you with illegal cable hook-ups
Will be aware of the fact, that one
Of the things I like to do on my shows is complain, you know?
It's kind of a motif for me, complainin', and of course this weird culture
We live in leaves you no shortage of things to complain about
So this next piece of material
Like most good ideas is fairly simple
It's just a list of people who ought to be killed
Okay? Alright
Starting with these people who read self-help books
Why do so many people need help?
Life is not that complicated
You get up you go to work, you eat three meals
You take one good shit, and you go back to bed
What's the fuckin' mystery?
And the part I really don't understand
If you're looking for self-help
Why would you read a book written by somebody else?
That's not self-help, that's help
There's no such thing as self-help
If you did it yourself, you didn't need help
You did it yourself
Try to pay attention to the language we've all agreed on
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