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d20
01. Tongue-Clucking Grammarian
02. Hassle: The Dorkening
03. Much Chubbier
04. Diseases of Yore
05. I’ll Form the Head
06. It Is Pitch Dark
07. First World Problem
08. Chisel Down
09. Charisma Potion
10. Power User
11. IWF
12. Bad Nerd
13. Secrets From the Future
14. Jacquelyn Hyde
15. This Old Man
16. Gold Locks
17. Socks On
18. Stoop Sale
19. Critical Hit
20. Spoiler Alert
21. Origin of Species
22. Two Dreamers
23. Goth Girls
24. I Hate Your Blog (unplugged)
I reside where stone is thick.
If you hear wind whistling, that's my script.
That's my cliff! Quit chiseling.
Might grant you a wish. Is this a thing
that happens to humble carvers of the earth's surface
or are you flirting with dark powers that sometimes enact curses?
And I'd purse lips if I weren't ethereal,
the way you worry my interior.
Any boon you seek, you say.
Want it? Got it. Fade away...

My trade has never been a fit match,
so my future's always looking pitch black.
Waist-deep in this fish fat,
I don't really want to swing this pick axe.
I want to be high-minded in a large home,
muse about the uncarved stone,
not chewing on a little bit of charred bone.
We want a world of our own, with
gold steps on the stairwell,
exotic fruits in the hair gel,
skin the color of caramel,
and a toilet that looks like a carousel.
Once my account is full of mils,
am I gonna feel more fulfilled,
or change the course and pull the wheel and
ingest the pill, phasers set to kill.
I'm a prove that I don't love anybody,
and give myself the power of a governing body
while maintaining selfhood is second nature.
So take a little echinacea for your upset dysplasia,
'cause I don't care how you live.
I'm beyond it, my brow is a mountain ridge.

Put your chisel down
Let your hammer go

I had a ridged brow when you wandered up.
Each elevation I conjured up
at your behest intensified it.
What a mess. You so soon derided
floods and rains after having been them
that you can't possibly recall cloud's dominion over sunbeams and where suns send them
from when you were the sun.
If you want the mountains at your mercy,
here's your chisel, have it done.