Yo, billy goats like myself favor hillsides.
We're so good at going up them, it instills pride.
And it feels right, posing on a peak.
From up here, see into the end of next week.
So I speak from observation, brothers: way over yon,
there's an incline that I like to picture us on.
Got the greenest of the grasses that I ever beheld.
With a breeze in our direction, I could tell by the smell
that we've never been fed how this hilltop could feed us.
My bigger brothers, I dream of all three of us
wandering yonder and filling our bellies up.
But! Without us becoming deli cuts
in the process. This is the rub.
Got a stream in between going glubbidy-glub.
The only bridge over, infested by troll.
Hunger in my belly's got me ready, set, go!
Look at me, I could be much chubbier.
If I could eat, you would see much chubbier me,
and then I would be much chubbier.
Look at me, I could be much chubbier.
I'm so scrawny! Much chubbier,
the goat behind me is chubbier.
He's much chubbier.
Big buck big brother, you're the tallest of all of us.
You could skip the situation like a troll apologist,
non-confrontational, bypass the bridge,
ford the river, meet your brothers on the ridge. What a cinch!
But the kid and the buckling get et in that scenario,
two orders of cabrito by the scary moat.
And I know biggest brother isn't timid.
Make short work: bridge troll, one minute.
But check that bridge, it's thin, it's flimsy.
That thing's finished if you tussle, what a grim scene:
planks and ropes in the water, wave goodbye.
And that's two of us still going hungry tonight.
So follow my lead, I got a notion to negotiate.
Yo, troll, ready up your dinner plate!
Not for me, though. I'm much too slight.
Look and see! I'm the littlest, could barely fill a bite.
He thinks I'm a plum fool, little does he know.
He thinks he's so smart, I think he's a beanpole.
Look at his chump chop, tiny and sinewy.
His little hind legs, they remind me of centipedes.
I wait for the real meat. That one's a real geek.
This little brainiac's a waste of my appetite.
And if he's lying, well he's got to come back tonight.
I'll play the bad karma coming back to bite.
Here comes big bro, chubbier indeed,
succulent mutton putting my stomach in frenzy!
I've chewed enough wood. I'm hungry and won't wait.
An even chubbier brother, really? You don't say!
If'n it's untrue, I'm seeing you both ways.
If he's really chubbier, I'm feeding the whole day.
I'm thinking of skirt steaks. My tummy starts rumbling.
It feels like an earthquake... am I going berserk? Wait!
Waaaaaaaaughhhh...
Later, troll! Hey biggest brother, dry off, salad bar's open.
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