NARRATOR
Eventually, Joseph reaches his home village.
SOLDIER
Home at last. Hurray!
Look over there, there's Mrs. Grey.
Hello! Hello I say! Hello there, Mrs. Grey!
That's strange. She doesn't hear me, poor old cow.
She must be hard of hearing now.
There's Arthur, a good old friend of mine and true.
Mowing the five-acre meadow, just like he always used to do.
Arthur! Arthur! What's the matter? Why does he not reply?
It's Joseph, your old mate, Joe the soldier.
Well! I'll be damned. The bugger just walked by.
Now here's the church with its tower and bell.
Hey! Everyone, it's me, come on, you all know me well!
Here's the mill, the inn, folk everywhere.
Men, women and children, but they all just stand and stare.
Now they're rushing inside, doors slamming shut.
Bolts being thrown, curtains drawn, what the hell's up?
I'll go find me mum, she'll know what's what.
There she is, hey, mother, what's up with everyone?
Hey, mother, it's me, it's Joseph, your son.
NARRATOR
But his mother just stares.
Then she screams and turns and runs away.
Joseph can't believe it, he is appalled, struck dumb.
Then across the road, he sees his fiancée.
Running towards her, he starts to call out, then he stops.
She's married with two children.
Finally, the penny drops.
SOLDIER
That dirty rotten cheat!
I've rumbled him at last.
It wasn't three bloody days, three bloody years have passed!
Now they all take me for a ghost.
A specter dead, bygone. A corpse among the living.
No longer friend or son.
That cheat, that dirty rotten cheat, what a fool I've been.
Well, alright, I was tired and hungry, but to listen to the likes of him.
I should have had suspicions, I should have known he was on the diddle.
But like a fool, I let him talk me out of my old fiddle.
I'm done, I'm fucked, excuse my French, but I gave up me whole life.
Me mother, me friends, me village and of course me future wife.
What a bloody dunce I've been, look, nothing but closed doors.
Bye, if I could lay my hands on him, I'd give that cheat what for.
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