My name is Ian Underwood and I'm the straight member of the group
Wowie Zowie!
One month ago I heard The Mothers of Invention at the theater
I heard them on two occasions, and on the second occasion
I went up to Jim Black and I said
I like your music, and I'd like to come down and play with you
Two days later I came up to the recording session
And Frank Zappa was sitting in the control room
I walked up and said, "How do you do?"
My name is Ian Underwood and I like your music
And I'd like to play with your group
Frank Zappa says, "What can you do that's fantastic?"
I said, "I can play alto saxophone and piano"
He said, "All right, whip it out"
I put that really get my mouth I know it gets its rock off when I do that
(I figured, oh, you know, just a beautiful chick)
Ah, this, well, anyway, uh, the reason I did this is because I felt that
(I might as well take her home and wine her and dine her and see what happens)
(So I took her home and we had a big dinner and uh, you know, had a few drinks)
I've never done it before and nobody else that I know of
Has ever done this before so I thought I would do it just once
Just to see how it felt
And actually it turned out that well it felt so good that
(To see what would happen, and then we both get a little s— heh)
I had to do it at least five or six more times
Would you pardon me a second I think I will try one more time ah
(Both get a little stoned, I figured we'd goof around a bit)
(So uh after a few drinks uh, I could hardly stand up)
You know, it really gets down all the way down to your uh, tonsils
And it massages the tonsils, you know, the coffee is just a little bit warmer
Than lukewarm and it really suits the membranes and the tonsils
(I figured, wow, now it's as good a time to do some numbers with this chick)
And the uh, the vocal chords and the muscles in your vocal chords, you know
(So we took the uh, the records off and we get into the nice dark bedroom)
Uh, I think it mhm
(To get some uh, and uh, you know it was kind of a)
The thrill for me to really get it on with this beautiful blonde which was
Uh, you know, for a dream it was really a fantastic chick
So we got in there and started making it, ripped out a big giant boob
Playing around with it so
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