Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Don't wanna be some beer-swillin' hockey nut
And do I look like some frostbitten hosehead?
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed
They all live on doughnuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packing heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny
Their stupid monopoly money
Can't take 'em seriously at all
Well, maple syrup and snow's what they export
They treat curling just like it's a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can't understand a thing they're 'talking aboot
Sure, they got their national healthcare
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again, well, they've got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of driving a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan
Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Won't figure out their temperature in Celsius
See the map, they're hovering right over us
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous
Always hear the same kind of story
Break their nose and they'll just say sorry
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite
It's gotta mean they're all up to something
So quick before they see it coming
Time for a pre-emptive strike
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