Jason X (2001)

DVD Cover (New Line Studios)
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Overall Rating 51%
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Ranked #1,924
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Connections: Friday The 13th

In the Year 2008, Jason Voorhees is cryogenically frozen in a Government Facility in Camp Crystal Lake, along with scientist Rowan. Many centuries later, in the year 2455, Earth is uninhabitable, and humans have moved to another planet known as Earth II. However, a team of students awakens both him and Rowan on a spaceship known as the Grendel. Jason begins killing the students and crew of the ship. Along the way, he is upgraded to Uber Jason. It's now up to Rowan and the surviving students to stop Jason, this time on a spaceship. --IMDb
Review by bluemeanie
Added: May 16, 2005
When a horror franchise runs out of steam, the natural thing to do is send the killer to space. Besides, Jason has pretty much used every method of killing horny teenagers known to man -- throwing some zero gravity and liquid nitrogen into the mix would at least give him more advanced technology with which to continue his mass killing spree. And, who does not want to see Jason Voorhees stalking up and down a spaceship hundreds of years in the future? My only concern is whether or not this incident took place before or after "Freddy Vs. Jason". If it took place before, they "Freddy Vs. Jason" was actually a prequel to "Jason X". If it took place after, then I really want to know how in the hell Jason managed to get back from that planet. Inconsistencies aside, the overall feeling of "Jason X" is that filmmakers are throwing everything in, including the kitchen sink. This is their last ditch effort to suck up any remaining traces of Jason box office dollars, and I must say that they are not nearly as abundant as they once were. People just don't get scared by psychos in a hockey mask anymore -- we have Renee Zellweger to shock us nowadays. I miss the good old days when unsuspecting teenagers would stumble out onto Camp Crystal Lake and get systematically slaughtered by pitchforks, potato sacks, and whatever other redneck murder weapon Jason could muster up. Those were the good old days.

The plot of "Jason X" reads very much like a coloring book. A bunch of unknown actors find themselves trapped on a spaceship with Jason Voorhees, the ultimate killing machine. The film takes place four hundred and fifty years in the future, though nothing extraordinary really seems to have changed. Teenagers are still horny, the laws of time and motion still don't apply when Jason is chasing you down a dark hallway, and special effects are still non-existent in the world of the hockey masked killer. Jason hacks his way through virtually the entire crew of the ship until a bad-acting robot named KM-14 puts him in his place -- all right, let me just say that they day Data without a dick kills injures Jason Voorhees is the day Renee Zellweger doesn't look like she was eating a lemon through her eyes. After Jason is 'killed' -- ha ha ha -- he goes into this weird techno-chamber and is transformed into Super Jason, a stronger, more attractive swamp covered madman with a shiny new mask that looks like aluminum foil. And, if you think you can kill Super Jason -- you've got another thing coming -- this bastard is all bark and all bite. However, seeing as how the year is 2455, you would think technology would have advanced enough to stop Jason from busting through solid metal doors -- are we still using the same damned contractors that we used four hundred years ago? The most entertaining moment comes when a computer is used to simulate Camp Crystal Lake and Jason used sleeping bags to end two airheaded whores.

So, what does every "Friday the 13th" film need before it can truly be considered a success within the franchise? For starters, you have to have Jason Voorhees -- duh. This isn't like "Halloween", where you can ditch the main character and go for haunted Halloween masks instead. You have to have Jason. And, Kane Hodder reprises his role as the killer, as big and as bad as ever before, with a little added incentive to make the film work, as this is probably his only means of financial support. You also need a cast filled with bad actors. Present! The only notable actor involved with the film is director David Cronenberg, who pops up occasionally as Dr. Wimmer -- how in the hell did the director of "The Fly" and "Crash" gets cast in a Jason picture? One of these films also needs absurd situations amplified only by the absurdity of the solutions to the situations. For example, the showdown between Jason and KM-14. Give me a break. That's like Godzilla battling Robocop -- the outcome is fairly certain. The fact that the filmmakers even let the damned robot get in a few shots shows that they are losing their love for the franchise. Fifteen years ago, the idea of Jason getting almost taken out by something like that would have been unthinkable, and rightfully so. Jason can only be slightly disabled when it looks as if the hero or heroine has finally dealt the final blow. Then he must rise again in just enough time to kill one more teenager before he is finally put down...until the next sequel. That is the way the films work.

Despite all of the problems with "Jason X" -- and, boy, there were hundreds of them -- I enjoyed the film quite a bit. It doesn't matter how stupid a film is, if I identify with the main character, I am hooked. And, who does not identify with Jason Voorhees? We have watched him hack his way from one dumb blonde to the next, and it is to the point that we want him to succeed. Teenagers this ignorant deserve to die, don't they? The "Friday the 13th" films have been one of the best forms of contraceptives since the late 1970's -- instead of showing those cheesy teen pregnancy videos, show a classroom of kids these films. That will teach them that having sex leads to either decapitation or having their guts pushed out through their back by a harpoon. That sure as hell makes me think twice before I wander out in the woods to have sex, drink wine, and smoke pot. "Jason X" does not teach the same lessons as the other films. It is more of the icing on top of the cake for us "Friday the 13th" fans. This film is all about letting Jason kill as many people as possible, and show the world that no matter what the future holds in store, you still can't stop of deformed psycho killer with a hockey mask and a butcher knife. That is just too lethal a combination...even for a fucking robot. 6.5/10.
Symx #1: Symx - added 05/26/2005, 01:00 AM
I really didnt enjoy this movie at all, and I'm a big fan of Friday the 13th films
Crispy #2: Crispy - added 05/29/2005, 09:27 PM
of course it came after Freddy Vs. Jason. Did you even pay attention?
Tristan #3: Tristan - added 04/10/2007, 01:15 AM
Usually, when a film icon, specifically a horror icon, goes to space, it's a disaster. This film however, bad acting aside, was just so goddamn entertaining. I have watched it over and over again, and always enjoy it. 8/10
Cryptorchild #4: Cryptorchild - added 10/10/2007, 10:05 PM
"He just wants his machete." This movie was good because it was so bad. Cheap entertainment at it's best. 6/10.
Tristan #5: Tristan - added 10/10/2007, 10:12 PM
It's "He just wanted his machete back.", but you're close.
Crispy #6: Crispy - added 10/10/2007, 11:08 PM
This actually one of my favorite ones in the series. Not topping the list of course, but its up there. And as a sidenote, sorry for my attitude up there Billy. I was a bit immature back then.
Mr. Mistoffelees #7: Mr. Mistoffelees - added 04/18/2008, 09:01 AM
This is absolutely one of my favorite comedies ever. Some classic moments are in here that really made me laugh with the amount of terrible idea/acting that took place. 8/10 for its comedic value.
benloveshorror #8: benloveshorror - added 08/03/2010, 09:53 PM
Jason X is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. 8/10
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