Date Movie (2006)

DVD Cover (Twentieth Century Fox Unrated)
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Overall Rating 26%
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Ranked #1,877
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Review by bluemeanie
Added: February 22, 2006
Move over, "Ishtar". Step aside, "Jackass: The Movie". There is a new 'worst motion picture of all-time' on the block and its name is "Date Movie". Think I'm over-exaggerating? Think again. This miserable waste of time was nauseatingly awful - a perfect example of how Hollywood comedies (most Hollywood comedies) are scraping the bottom of the barrel. Since "There's Something About Mary", studios have been trying their best to recapture that feeling audiences first had when they saw what Mary really had in her hair. The Farrelly Brothers perfected the genre and no director has been able to match their success. "Date Movie" tries and fails, under the guise of a fun-loving spoof, like "The Naked Gun" or "Hot Shots!". But, there is nothing 'fun-loving' about this film. It is sick, offensive, disgustingly improper, and totally unfunny. One of the problems lies in the material. Spoofs like "Hot Shots!" succeeded because they poked fun at serious dramas and action films and horror films. "Date Movie" tries to spoof comedies like "Meet the Fockers" and "Hitch"...why in the hell would you think you could spoof a comedy? That's moronic. Comedies are already suppose to be funny...what is funny about poking fun at something already funny?

Alyson Hannigan stars as Julia Jones, a morbidly obese young girl who works in her African-American father's Greek restaurant. All Julia wants is to find the love of her life. So, after enlisting the assistance of Hitch (Tony Cox), she is transformed into the gorgeous contestant of a reality dating show, where she meets and falls for Grant Fonckyerdoder (Adam Campbell). They fall immediately in love and plan to marry. The remainder of the film deals with both of the lovers coming to terms with their respective families, and an old girlfriend of Grant's resurfacing to cause some trouble. Alas, the only trouble caused in this film is caused by the plot and the writing. Writers/Directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have absolutely nothing going for them. They evidently helped write "Scary Movie", but what did they really do? The Wayans Brothers were the only thing keeping those first two films afloat. These talentless hacks probably wrote two of three jokes for the film, most likely the least accessible. They have taken gross-out humor to a whole new level and have inserted scenes so disgusting that they made everyone in the theatre cringe. Most people don't go to a comedy to cringe. There's a scene where an old woman French kisses a cat, a scene where lard is pumped from a girl's stomach, and a scene where a girl pops a zit that sends her catapulting across her apartment. This is juvenile humor for people with zero taste.

This poor ensemble of actors is given nothing with which to work, though most of them are likely on there because they could not find credible work elsewhere. Amazing comic actors Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge are painfully misused here, trying desperately to evoke some laughs as send-offs of the Dustin Hoffman and Barbara Streisand characters from "Meet the Fockers". Their material is pitiful. They should feel embarrassed after seeing this film. The only entertaining scene in the film (and only part of it worked) is when an obese Alyson Hannigan opens the film jumping and skipping and dancing throughout the city, eventually getting hosed by firemen, to the tune of the song "Milkshake". That made me chuckle...once. Everything else is dreadful. Adam Campbell, as the male lead in the film, really shows a disdain for comic timing. He tries his best, but has nowhere to go but down. He is not bad on the eyes, but certainly bad on the ears.

"Date Movie" is a horrible, miserable, awful, dreadful, absolutely pitiful attempt at juvenile comedy. It is the worst film I have ever seen, and that means in my entire life. I thought a lot about this, which is why it took me so long to post the review. I made a list of all my least favorite films and then measured them with "Date Movie". There was no comparison. On a scale from 1-10, my previous worst film, "Jackass: The Movie" ranked about a 7. "Date Movie" is a 13. That is how much worse it is than every other film ever released by any studio in any country since the invention of motion picture technology. After a pretty promising first weekend, my one hope is that no one sees this film this forthcoming weekend and it is quickly forgotten before the thoughts of a sequel start creeping into the works. The day "Date Movie" has a sequel is the day the sun stops in the sky, continents topple over one another, and the world is festered with boils and plague.

-13/10 (So Negative, It's Not Even Funny).
cky2kendall #1: cky2kendall - added 02/23/2006, 04:54 PM
When I even heard this title, I knew it was destined to be crap. But I saw the trailer, and realized that it was beyond crap. This is a movie which PoW's should be made to watch during interogation. I wouldn't go so far to say it's the worst movie ever, but worst of 21st century? I'd agree with that, even with another 94 years to go.
Chad #2: Chad - added 01/27/2008, 11:22 PM
I got a couple of great laughs out of this, and I really think this review is a little too harsh. It's not a perfect film, but perfectly acceptable for what it was. 6/10.
Lucid Dreams #3: Lucid Dreams - added 08/20/2010, 06:39 PM
This was one of the worst spoofs I had seen when it came out, of course something else has beat it now, but still this was bad. 3/10
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