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The House Of The Devil
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I have mixed feeling on this one. I fast forwarded
through the first 15 minutes, Im sorry but I
CANNOT stand watching some chick walk around
aimlessly for long minutes at a time while
listening to her radio (and this not even being
during the opening credits and all). Then when we
get to the house the build up is still painfully
slow, BUT I do appreciate the fact that she was
doing just about everything right. No stupid ditz
standing next to an open window screaming for no
reason crap here...... Was that a strange noise
outside? Let me get a knife from the kitchen to
set next to me while Im watching tv......
The
end was a pretty awesome payoff tho. Not that
there was a twist or anything original but this
chicks reactions were so effin sweet, SO unlike
what you usually see in horror movies. I even
caught myself yellin "YEAH!" at the
screen a few times.
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Posted by Dametria on September 20, 2010
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Meh, nothing new. De Sade addressed that in
Juliette. I don't have the book on me at the
moment but I remember one of his buddies
apparently knocked up his daughters after their
first period the hangs them like piniatas at 9
months pregnant, beats them till the baby pops out
then has sex with the baby, male or female (in
graphic detail about the sound of the pelvis
breaking, etc)..... I remember him being from
"a distant land" I wonder if it was
Serbia.....
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The Descent: Part 2
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Finally got to watch this one (every damn redbox
around here had it checked out for over a month!)
and its awesome. Yeah, its pretty much the first
one all over but without all the touchy feely
build up, we just wanna see these people get
ripped apart. And the corpses of the other girls
down there are pretty nasty (that's always fun).
Not sure I liked the reworking of the creatures
this time around, nothing huge but I thought they
were perfect the first time around and didn't need
any tweaking (and I think the guys in the suit
over acted it big time).
Yeah the
ending was super duper retarded. I UNDERSTOOD what
they were trying to go for but....meh, unnecessary
to say the least.
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Crazy Eights
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Dear Jesus. I finally got arround to watching this
one, yeah I know its gotten nothing but bad
reviews but, I thought the plot sounded
interesting. Talk about a mistake. First off, was
the twist really supposed to be considered a twist
when the pretty much gave it to us at the begining
of the movie? Second, they did that thing I
freakin HATE in horror, where the camera focuses
on something else in the room while a person is
being killed just out of frame. Third, alot of the
"injuries" the characters suffer dont
seem to be fatal. Fourth, these kids were
brainwashed for the entire period of there
childhoods right? So much so that they remember
the head Dr as their dad..... so have they never
seen or heard from their families in the 20 years
since theyve been back in the real world? Fith,
why the hell does the killer kid want to kill
them? They tried so save her ass!
But
I think the single worst thing about this film was
that I couldnt figure out what the hell they were
doing down there in the first place as kids! I
heard maybe 2 sentances about learning guilt and
apparently the creepy killer girl never got the
programming. THATS the reason you have all these
kids brainwashed for years in the basement of a
hospital?! WEAK
SPOILER: Also,
the ending was downright retarded. "Oh, the
only thing that will make you happy and NOT try to
kill me anymore is if I commit suicide? Okey Dokey
then, if thats what it takes...."
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Trailer Park Of Terror
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I thought it was awsome. Super cheezy teen slasher
+ redneck zombies = HILARIOUS. THe special effects
were damn good too, I wasnt expecting too much for
a low budget straigh to DVD flick but they pulled
it off. Plot was shaky at best but who cares its
all about the characters in this one.
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The Midnight Meat Train
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I was LOVING this movie. Every minute of it, the
creepy setting, the conspiracy, the killer, the
over the top blood and gore, the hammer,
fingernails and teeth, EVERYTHING.
and then they started pulling up newspaper
clippings from over a hundred years ago. and I
thought shit, this is gonna go straight downhill.
and it did.
If they had left it with
the original idea and not tried to throw in the
the "twist" this would have been
perfect. The last bit (altho visually pretty
freakin cool) just made me roll my eyes and
ruined the whole thing for me. Cant a film just
let a psycho be a psycho these days?! I think Im
going to watch it again and just stop it before
his stupid ass girlfriend gets involved and finish
the rest in my own head..... and be happy.
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Brokeback Mountain
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Single most depressing movie Ive ever seen.
SO as Im off to the theatre Im thinking Heath
and Jake.... 2 sexy guys sexing each other
up....HOT!!!
Sadly no, It was never hot,
even the all too brief sex scene just looked rough
and sloppy (and not in a sexy S&M way either).
THe movie never really picked up, never got funny
or romantic or ,well, good! It was just one
depressing scene followed by more depression,
followed by the MOST depressing ending ever.
Totally sucked all the joy outa my day.
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The Gravedancers
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Well I saw this when it first came out and I cant
remember anything about it except that the ghosts
were creepy looking as all hell. Seriously, the
plot was so weak that I cant recall a damn thing
about it on my own. Just look for the ghost
pictures (kinda a cross between pumpkinhead and
the creepy priest from poulterguist 2) and youve
seen the best thing this movie has to offer.
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28 Weeks Later
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Ok, the plot is a bit blah. And I didnt really
like ANY of the characters but for straight up
Zombie mayhem and blood and guts (both of which I
adore) it was pretty freakin sweet. I love the
fact that when shit breaks out in England we send
in the American troops to sort shit out....and
when it gets out of control we wholesale slaughter
em. The helecopter scene was supper duper spiffy
by the way.
But everything
aside I love love LOVE the first part of the movie
when the guy is running to the river and zombies
spill over the surrounding hills and the classic
music starts playing..... gives me chills every
time. Worth watching just for that and the
helecopter scene.
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Seed Of Chucky
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"You got a rubber?"
"Baby....
Im ALL rubber"
I love the Chucky
films. I especially love these later ones where
they arent so much in it for the horror as the
laughs. Yeah, dont go into this looking for a
horror, its not, at all. The kills are pretty
creative, the plot (altho throwing some wrenches
into some gears of the earlier flicks) it pretty
simplistic but it has its moments. THe end is
great (Um, yeah, about those gears tho).
Oh, and Ill watch ANYTHING with Jennifer Tilly,
shes the best.
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Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV
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Um, yeah, no. I freakin LOVED every minute of this
film. Granted Ill give money to Kaufman for just
about anything but this one ALMOST rivals Tromeo
and Juliet for best troma movie ever.... almost. I
coudnt stop laughing thru the whole thing! Im
talking gut busting, out loud, people in other
rooms comming in to see what the hell is going on
in here, type funny. I even named one of my pet
rats "Tito the wetodded webble". And to
this day when people start to annoy me I inform
tham that they are giving me a tummy ache in my
brain. Buckets of blood, Tits, Cock sucking,
midgets, babies killing each other, retards,
racist jokes, Drug use, Nazis, alternate
dimensions, homos AND lesbos, a super hero named
Master Bater oh and Cory Freakin FELDMAN!!......
this film has everything.
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My Bloody Valentine
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Yeah, I actually saw this one with the boyfriend
on Valentines day (last day it ran in theatres
arround my town) and paid the extra $3 for the
glasses. Now, the movie was pretty awsome......
predictable, but awsome. The gore was great and
there were some big laughs. If you like the cheezy
80s slasher genre, like I do, youll love it.
HOWEVER I could have really done without the 3-D
effects. Most of the time it was just that the
background seemed a little farther than the main
characters, there were only like 3 scenes where
stuff came into the audiance that were pretty cool
but I think THOSE would look campy in a non 3-D
version.
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The Strangers
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I thought this movie was horrible. It was like
watching all the build up scenes in a good old
fashioned slasher flick without any payoff. The
whole movie was "Look out behind you....wait,
nevermind. NOW look out behind you.....nope, its
ok now". The "strangers" were not
all that scary, they looked like high-school kids
wearing masks, but you never get to see their
faces so even the whole innocents gone bad angle
didnt pan out. I imagine BEING in this situation
would be frightening but watching others go thru
it was just dull. Even the big final payoff in the
end was, well, anticlimactic.
It
would have been better pitched as a drama with the
little suspense as a bonus. 2/10
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Inside
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OMG I freaking loved this one. It was just so damn
brutal! The story was kinda boring but who the
hell cared?! It was all about the gore......mmmmm
good stuff
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Night Of The Creeps
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Weird.... I just found this on VHS at a garage
sale and watched memorial day, for the first time
in years.
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Dead Silence
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Yeah, this movie isnt anything amazing but I will
say that the makeup job on Mary Shaw was pretty
freakin awsome. And some of the other closeups
were equally as creepy (hello marrionette mummy
boy!). So I REALLY enjoyed this movie based on
visuals alone. The acting was total crap and they
characters are always doing stupid crap that makes
you want to yell at them thru the screen. Still
tho, fully worth the price of the rental.
But I will say that I had the whole "twist
ending" thing called by the end of the first scene
(you know the one Im talking about)....and I was
drunk off my ass on Jello shots at the time......
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Tales From The Crypt: Season 4
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I need to get this one just for "The New Arrival"
Simply because I only saw it once (which was weird
considering that I watched this show everytime it
came on ANY channel). For some reason that episode
NEVER seemed to come on in syndication (tho I must
have seen Only Sin Deep 50 times...) and for some
reason I cant even seem to find it anywhere to
download! I barely remember the twist at all these
days....
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Tales From The Crypt: Season 5
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Death of Some Salesmen was proabably one of the
coolest episodes....ever. Watching Tim Curry play
every member of the creepy family was amazing!
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Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
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So clear this up for me....Jedediah the Pilot was
played by the same guy who was the Gyro Captain,
and he had a kid, Jedediah Jr, that was about the
same age and general look as the feral kid (played
by a different kid tho). So were these supposed to
BE the same characters somehow evolved within the
year? Or was it some kind of a weird joke? I never
really did get that bit.....
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Monster Cops: The Midnight Special
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Nope, I acted in it over 2 years ago but didnt
even get to see a promo. I bought it just like
everyone else and watched it for the first time on
the 12th, and I must say that (my acting aside) I
still freakin loved it. Its an awsome genre and we
need more like it. Funny satire but not "scary
movie" style retarded.
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Mad Max 2
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This is probably one of my favorite movies of all
time. As many times as it comes on late night
cable there seems to be an inability for me not to
sit down and watch it. The characters are great,
the plot is amazing, the action is INTENSE and the
ending kicks ass! Ive always been a sucker for the
post-apocalyptic movies but this is the one they
must all be compaired to.
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The Hole
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I loved this movie. Your sooo right, I passed it
up for rental a dozen times because they made the
plot out to be some silly teen angst crapfest but
its far from it. The characters are brilliant (and
you better love them, your spending the whole
movie isolated with them), and Thora Birch reminds
us why she needs to be taken more seriously as an
actress. The first half is kinda slow but its
really gets you attached to these kids and about
halfway thru the whole movie does a 180 into a
mystery-thriller. Not alot of gore and a rather
low body count but still very worth it.
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Hellraiser: Inferno
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This was like the "Halloween 3" of the Hellraiser
series......you all know what I mean
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When A Stranger Calls
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I knew this movie was going to be bad but someone
else rented it and I just borrowed before it went
back. It was dredful. Weve all heard the urban
legend, I think it can be told (with suspense and
pacing) in about 7 minutes, this tried to make it
90. Thats 90 of the most boring ass minutes ever
put on film. I, of course, wasnt willing to sit
thru all that crap so I fast forwarded till
something good happened......and nothing good ever
happened. No gore, no horror, no suspense, no
twists.
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The Cave
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It seemed to me they were trying to hollywood-ize
"Decent". Except someone said, lets add some dudes
for that testosterone kick, and make more than one
type of creature down there......oh and WINGS!!!
And lets make sure we end it the way we like
things to end over here......
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The Forgotten
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This looked so good in the trailers, but somehow
when stretched into a full length movie they
managed to screw it up. Yeah, watching it I was
fairly certain Id seen this movie a few times in
years before. The "alternate endings" were almost
the same thing but with parts left out of some.
Either you get a sugar sweet happy ending, a
cliffhanger, or a meh.... suppose its over now.
Thin plot that tries to have a big twist ending
that winds up being stupid. Surley its some
strange government experiment or mental disorder
or even an opening of a paranormal gateway in the
universe but no its *spoiler*.......Aliens, just
mucking with people for the hell of it.
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Aliens
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God I LOVED this movie. I remember my big brother
waking me up at 2am when I was 8 to watch this
with him in the living room. I loved every minute
of it then and I watched it again just a few weeks
ago and its just as amazing as it ever was. I
liked it even better than the original, I just
wished they had STOPPED with this one. Ripley is
my hero....
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The Day After Tomorrow
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Meh.....It was OK I suppose. It was just
so....predictable. Watch the first 10 minutes and
tell me whats going to happen and who you think is
going to survive. Yeah, thats right. FX are good
and I LOVE disaster films but nothing amazing
happens here.
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Saved!
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I wanted to hate this movie, I REALLY did. A
pro-christian movie starring MandyMoore?! No way.
I was however wrong (this one time). If you watch
it with christians they think its pro them BUT if
your not you can sit back and laugh at them.
Stupid thing like when they sing (no matter WHAT
it is) the have to look up, put at least one hand
in the air, and close their eyes...even the one
trying to play piano. The crazy homophobia that
runs rampant is brilliant, and I love the way
Jenna Malones character gives this whole monolague
during the opening scene that sound like she has
the mind of a brainwashed 12 year old. Macaulay
Culkins character Roland is by far the most
hilarious thing Ive seen in a good long
while...strange thats hes standing behind rest of
the cast on the cover......Basically give it a
shot, just take it with a grain of salt and youll
find its funny as hell
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Open Water
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This is probably THE most dissappointing movie Ive
ever seen. I watched it in the theatres and I
couldnt help but think of Brians description of
Blair witch to the blind guy, "Nothing's
happening, Nothing's happening, something about a
shark, Nothing's happening, its over, alot of
people look pissed". There was almost ZERO action,
crappy dialog, no real special effects, oh, and no
scene changes. If I want to listen to a married
couple bitch at eachother for 2 hours Ill go to my
parents house, If I put the national geographic
channel on in the background it will be just like
watching 99% of this movie.
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Hard Candy
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I was a bit bored with this one. I saw it
advertised at a convention and I thought it looked
like an awsome twisted thriller type movie. Its
seemed like it could have been an episode of a
crime drama (from the criminals side) stretched
out into 2 hours. WAY too slow with an
underwhelming ending but I suppose if you need to
kill time....
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Motel Hell
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this was my favorite .49 cent special at
blockbuster about 12 years ago. Must have rented
it at least 10 times
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Scarecrow Slayer
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I loved the scarecrows costume....other than that
a total waste of time. Its like they spent the
whole budget on the one costume and just tried to
build some sort of plot arround that.
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Tromeo And Juliet
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Dude, your "review" sucks. Dont just tell everone
what happens in every scene of the movie. This is
the greatest film of all time. I own 5 different
copies (3 VHS 2 DVD) It dosent matter what Genre
you like, you need to see this movie!
BTW interesting side note....Directed by James
Gunn (Slither, Dawn of the Dead) but also Sean
Gunn (Sammy), is the infamous James Gunn's Little
brother.
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La Blue Girl Live 1: Revenge Of The Sex Demon King
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God this movie was a dissappointment! A friend of
mine picked it up for me at an A-Con years ago
when they found out about my secret love for
hentai. It tries SO hard to be LaBlue but without
ANY of the good stuff! It may as well have been an
eposide of Power Rangers with some titty shots
thrown in.
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The Nail Gun Massacre
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Heads up, theres going to be a sequel. Its going
to be directed by the same people and have a big
cast reunion (playing the adults / parents of new
killers). HOW do I know this you may ask? Because
at a horror convention I was working at I was
offered a roll in it by Terry Lofton. I loved the
original and was really jazzed by the idea of a
PART in the new one but as anyone whos seen this
one knows, just about ever female gets naked at
some point. So Yeah....no
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Natural Born Killers
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I saw this movie when it first came out....I was
11. I LOVED it then and I just bought it a few
months ago so I could watch it again....and it
still rocks
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Reservoir Dogs
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Love this movie...I have the Mr Pink edition (Yea
Bucemi!)
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The Hitcher
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The first one sucked, the remake sucked
harder...with better special effects
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Storm Of The Century
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Incredably dull! Watched for HOURS waiting for
something incredable to happen and nothing ever
did
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Creepshow 2
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This was the first horror movie ever to scare me.
My parents let me watch anything I wanted movie
wise (except any nudity lol) and so I had seen
most of the elm street, jason, halloween, ghoulies
etc. films that had been released at this point
but for some reason THIS was the movie that made
me stop wtching horror movies for 2 years out of
sheer fear! Granted I was 8 at the time.....
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Snakes On A Plane
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I KNOW its a spoof, It supposed to be funny, silly
horror-ISH movie. But man I could NOT sit thru
this thing! I tried twice and didnt get very far
either time. Its just TOO retarded.
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