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Andy Griffith - 100 of the Greatest Comedy Skits - What It Was, Was Football
100 of the Greatest Comedy Skits
01. Football Results
02. Nursery School
03. Pass That Peace Pipe
04. Meet Fred MacMurray
05. Brave Elevator Operator
06. Going to the Broadcast
07. The Best of the Worst Of… (excerpt)
08. Get It Right Corporal!
09. Marriage and Girlfriends
10. Max Is Now a Swimming Instructor but Is Never Out of His Depth
11. More About Courting & Married Life
12. Cupid on Valentine’s Day
13. Is There No End to His Cleverness?
14. Bill Cosby Goes to a Football Game
15. The ‘Had It Tough’, Poor, Contest
16. Opening a Jail
17. Komodo Dragon, Gabe Preston #1
18. A Letter From Bill (The Rag Trade)
19. Jack Benny Competes
20. Bad Reviews
21. He Now Recites
22. Drats
23. Lovely Lunch
24. Happy Anniversary Eddie
25. Jerry’s System for Dating Girls
26. Women in Paris
27. Ravelli in Court
28. Ton Up Boy
29. What It Was, Was Football
30. The Sunshine Boys
31. Financial Expert
32. Porn Shop
33. Telling a Good Story
34. Shirley’s Girlfriend “Picnic”
35. Little Blue Riding Hood
36. The Ups and Downs of Brenda Scuttlebutt, Girl Yo‐Yo
37. The Cheeky Chappie Picks from the White Book & The Blue Book
38. Harpo Marx Ace Reporter
39. Morgan on Wagner
40. Max Gives Jean Some Chocolates
41. Jack and Groucho Play Checkers
42. Pre Show Jitters
43. One Leg Too Few
44. Impressions
45. The Cheeky Chappie Tells a Few More
46. The Morning After the Night Before
47. Albert Evacuated
48. Heine’s and Moe’s
49. The Astronaut
50. Danovitch Kayoff
51. Charles Laughton as Santa
52. What It Was, Was Football
53. The Fleabo Company
54. Me an’ Old Charlie
55. Radio Quiz
56. The Funniest Woman in the World
57. The Society Wedding Stakes
58. Some Enchanted Evening
59. The Cheekie Chappie Tells One
60. At the Hungry I (excerpt)
61. Civil Defense (No Talking)
62. The Great Train Robbery
63. Sam and Henry at the Dentist’s
64. Hope in Russia (excerpt)
65. Take a Pew
66. Lies, Lies, and More Lies
67. Valentines Day at Duffy’s Tavern
68. The Royal Box
69. The Beauty Parlor
70. Telephone Call
71. The Voice and Philosophy of W.C. Fields
72. A Hillbilly Baseball Story
73. A Date After the Show
74. Dr. Kronkite and His Only Living Patient
75. Writer of Children’s Books
76. The Temperance Lecture
77. All Good Things Come to an End
78. The Cheeky Chappie Goes on Picking ’em
79. Cohen at the Telephone
80. Who’s on First
81. Max Tells of His First Arp Experience
82. Ad Nauseum (That Was the Week That Was)
83. Over the Gate
84. Point of View / Ku Klux Klan
85. Harpo’s Girl Problem
86. Get a Horse / Lost
87. Old Girls’ School Reunion
88. Women Take Over
89. A Tour of 20th Century Fox
90. Selling Jolson Anything
91. Chico Plays on Bob’s Show
92. An Assortment of Yarns: Morris of Arabia / Matzo Ball Soup / Cohen, Goldberg and Lipshitz / The Friendly Bench
93. Jean Carr Asks Some Questions, but Max Knows All the Answers
94. The Horse Show
95. Uncle Josh in a Barber Shop
96. Two Black Crows, Part 1
97. Have You Ever Seen Betty Grable?
98. The Diet
99. The Cool World
100. Stop Press
It was back last October, I believe it was.
We was going to hold a tent service off at this college town, and we got there about dinner time on Saturday.
Different ones of us thought that we ought to get us amouthful to eat before we set up the tent.
So we got off the truck and followed this little bunch of peoplethrough this small little bitty patch of woods there,
And we came up on a big sign that says,
"Get something to Eat Here."
I went up and got me two hot dogs and a big orange drink,
And before I could take a mouthful of that food,
This whole raft of people come up around me and got meto where I couldn't eat nothing,
Up like, and I dropped my big orange drink.
Well, friends, they commenced to move, and there wasn't so much that I could do but move with them.
Well, we commenced to go throught all kinds of doors and gates and I don't know what- all,
And I looked up over one of 'em and it says, "North Gate."
We kept on a-going through there, and pretty soon wecome up on a young boy and he says,
"Ticket, please."
And I says, "Friend, I don't have a ticket; I don't even know where it is that I'm a-going!"
Well, he says, "Come on out as quick as you can."
And I says, "i'll do 'er; i'll turn right around the first chance I get."
Well, we kept on a-moving through there, and pretty soon everybody got where it was that they was a-going,
Because they parted and I could see pretty good.
And what I seen was this whole raft of people a-sittin' on these two banksand a-lookin
At one another across this pretty little green cow pasture.
Somebody had took and drawed white lines all over it anddrove posts in it,
And I don't know what all,
And I looked down there and I seen five or six convicts arunning up and downand a-blowing whistles.
And then I looked down there and I seen these pretty girlswearin' these little bitty short dressesand a-dancing around,
And so I thought I'd sit down and see what it was that was a-going to happen.
About the time I got set down good I looked down there and
I seen thirty or forty men come a-runnin' out of one end of a great big out house down there and everybody
Where I was a-settin' got up and hollered!
And I asked this fella that was a sittin' beside of me,
"Friend, what is it that they're a-hollerin' for?"
Well, he whopped me on the back and he says,
"Buddy, have a drink!" I says,"Well, I believe I will have another big orange."
I got it and set back down.
When I got there again I seen that the men had got in two little bitty bunches down there real close together, and they voted.
They elected one man apiece, and them two men come out in the middle of that cow pastureand shook hands
Like they hadn't seen one another in a long time.
Then a convict came over to where they was a-standin',
And he took out a quarter and they commenced to oddman right there!
After a while I seen what it was they was odd-manning for
It was that both bunchesfull of them wanted this funnylookin little pumpkin to play with.
And I know, friends, that they couldn't eat it
Because they kicked it the whole evenin'and it never busted.
Both bunchesful wanted that thing.
One bunch got it and it made the other bunch just as madas they could be!
Friends, I seen that evenin' the awfulest fight that I everhave seen in all my life!
They would run at one -another and kick one- another and throw one another down
And stomp on one another and grind their feet in one another and
I don't know what-all and just as fast as one of 'em would get hurt,
They'd take him off and run another one on!
Well, they done that as long as I set there,
But pretty soon this boy that had said "Ticket, please."
He come up to me and said,
"Friend, you're gonna have to leave because it is that you don't have a ticket."
And I says, "Well, all right."
And I got up and left.
I don't know friends, to this day, what it was that they was a doin' down there, but I have studied about it.
I think it was that it's some kindly of a contest where they see
Which bunchful of them men can take that pumpkin and run from one end of that cow pasture
To the other without gettin' knocked down or steppin' in somethin'.