The mystery man came over
And he said, "I'm outta sight"
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach Nirvana tonight
If I was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote his attention to me
But I said
"Look here brother"
"Who you jivin' with that cosmic debris?"
"Now who you jivin' with that cosmic debris?"
"Look here brother"
"Don't you waste your time on me"
The mystery man got nervous
And he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe
And he whipped out a shaving kit
Well, I thought it was a razor
And a can of foaming goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of Aphrodite
And the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said, "You might not believe this, little fella"
"But it'll cure your asthma too"
And I said, "Oh, really?"
"Look here brother"
"Who you jivin' with that cosmic debris?"
"Now what kind of guru are you anyway?"
"From the source or what?"
"Look here brother"
"Don't you waste your time on me"
"I've got troubles of my own", I said
And you can't help me out
So take your meditations and your preparations
And ram it up your snout
"But I've got a crystal ball", he said
And he held it on up to the light
So I snatched it
All away from him
And I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I'd look like I was deep
I said some mumbo jumbos then
And I told him he was goin' to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocket watch
Everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hangin' around
I said
"The price of meat has just gone up"
"And your old lady has just went down"
"Look here, brother"
"Who you jivin' with that cosmic debris?"
"Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?"
"What do ya think?"
"You know, you could make more money as a butcher"
"So don't you waste your time on me"
Thank you
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