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Broadway The Hard Way, ladies and gentlemen
Broadway The Hard Way
You are the girl
Somebody invented
In a grim little office
On Madison Ave
They were specific
They made you terrific
Red lips
Blue eyes
Blonde hair
Un-wise
You're All-American
And, darling, they said so
You'd take any kind of pain from me
Wouldn't you, baby?
You'd take any kind of pain from me
Wouldn't you, baby?
Since you haven't got a brain
Let me just explain
Any kind of pain
Is never a maybe
What?
Her head's full of bubbles
Her nose is petite
She looks like she never
Gets nothin' to eat
She dines with actors
'N Wall Street characters
Dull talk
Nice clothes
See her?
She blows
She's so important
'Cause he gets to do talk shows
And she'd take any kind of pain from me
Wouldn't you, Bobby?
She'd take any kind of pain from me
Wouldn't you, Bobby?
Since she hasn't got a name
Let me just explain
Any kind of pain
Is probably her hobby
She has moved up now
She's come a long way
They give her bunches
Of words she can say
When she's in a bold mood
"Confinement Loaf" sounds good
That's right
She's wrong
Let's end
Her song
It seems she's everywhere
We just can't escape her
Is this a miracle of pure evolution?
And all the yuppie boys, they dream they will rape her
She brings the bus right to a thrilling conclusion
Yes, she's every bit as tame as me
Isn't she tender?
Yes, she's every bit as lame as me
Let us remember
She gets only half the blame
Only half the blame
Only half the blame
Unless we extend her
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