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Frank Zappa - The Old Masters, Box Two - If We’d All Been Living in California…
The Old Masters, Box Two
Disc 1
01. Uncle Meat: Main Title Theme
02. The Voice of Cheese
03. Nine Types of Industrial Pollution
04. Zolar Czakl
05. Dog Breath, in the Year of the Plague
06. The Legend of the Golden Arches
07. Louie Louie (at the Royal Albert Hall in London)
08. The Dog Breath Variations
09. Sleeping in a Jar
10. Our Bizarre Relationship
11. The Uncle Meat Variations
12. Electric Aunt Jemima
13. Prelude to King Kong
14. God Bless America (live at the Whisky a Go Go)
15. A Pound for a Brown on the Bus
16. Ian Underwood Whips It Out (live on stage in Copenhagen)
17. Mr. Green Genes
18. We Can Shoot You
19. If We’d All Been Living in California…
20. The Air
21. Project X
22. Cruising for Burgers
23. King Kong Itself (as played by the Mothers in a studio)
24. King Kong (its magnificence as interpreted by Dom Dewild)
25. King Kong (as Motorhead explains it)
26. King Kong (The Gardner Varieties)
27. King Kong (as played by 3 deranged Good Humor trucks)
28. King Kong (live on a flat bed diesel in the middle of a race track at a Miami pop festival… The Underwood Ramifications)
Disc 2
01. Peaches en Regalia
02. Willie the Pimp
03. Son of Mr. Green Genes
04. Little Umbrellas
05. The Gumbo Variations
06. It Must Be a Camel
Disc 3
01. WPLJ
02. Igor’s Boogie, Phase One
03. Overture to a Holiday in Berlin
04. Theme From Burnt Weeny Sandwich
05. Igor’s Boogie, Phase Two
06. Holiday in Berlin, Full Blown
07. Aybe Sea
08. The Little House I Used to Live In
09. Valarie
Disc 4
01. Didja Get Any Onya?
02. Directly From My Heart to You
03. Prelude to the Afternoon of a Sexually Aroused Gas Mask
04. Toads of the Short Forest
05. Get a Little
06. Eric Dolphy Memorial Barbecue
07. Dwarf Nebula Processional March & Dwarf Nebula
08. My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama
09. Oh No
10. The Orange County Lumber Truck
11. Weasels Ripped My Flesh
Disc 5
01. Transylvania Boogie
02. Road Ladies
03. Twenty Small Cigars
04. The Nancy & Mary Music
05. Tell Me You Love Me
06. Would You Go All the Way?
07. Chunga’s Revenge
08. The Clap
09. Rudy Wants to Buy Yez a Drink
10. Sharleena
Disc 6
01. Little House I Used to Live In
02. The Mud Shark
03. What Kind of Girl Do You Think We Are?
04. Bwana Dik
05. Latex Solar Beef
06. Willie the Pimp, Part One
07. Willie the Pimp, Part Two
08. Do You Like My New Car?
09. Happy Together
10. Lonesome Electric Turkey (encore excerpt feat. Don Preston on Minimoog)
11. Peaches en Regalia
12. Tears Began to Fall
Disc 7
01. Billy the Mountain
02. Call Any Vegetable
03. Eddie, Are You Kidding?
04. Magdalena
05. Dog Breath
Disc 8
01. Harry, You’re a Beast
02. Don Interrupts
03. Piece One
04. Jim/Roy
05. Piece Two
06. Agency Man
07. Agency Man (studio version)
08. Lecture From Festival Hall Show
09. Wedding Dress Song / The Handsome Cabin Boy (from the Uncle Meat sessions, 1967)
10. Skweezit Skweezit Skweezit
11. The Story of Willie the Pimp
12. Black Beauty
13. Chucha
14. Mothers at KPFK
15. Harmonica Fun
Okay? Now if you still want to get your name in magazines
He wants five hundred dollars a month
Where does it come from? We worked one gig this month
And now, so, what do we get, two hundred dollars for this gig up here, if we're lucky
If we're lucky, we'll get two hundred
And it'll be two weeks before we get it
Probably I mean a- after all, uh
What is all this shit in the, uh, in the newspaper?
We sh-, if we got such a big name, how come, uh
We're starving, man! This fucking band is starving!
We've been starving for three years
I realize it takes a long time, but God damn does it take another five, ten years from now?

There's some months when you're not gonna work as much as other months
There's some months when you're gonna make a lot of money
And if you average it out, you do make more than two hundred dollars a month

Expenses are sure high too
If we'd all been living in California, it would've been different
If we'd all been living in California, we wouldn't work at all!
Ah that's true
Well, we're not working n-now anyway
We worked one gig this month, Frank
What's wrong with getting two months in a row of this good money?
Or three months in a row?
Then we can afford to take three or four months off and everybody can
After the first month, I can get just enough ahead, but if I had two more months, man, I'll get ahead
'Cause I'm not living very extravagantly, I'll tell you for sure