Mark: "
It's a good thing we get paid to do this.
I could be in L.
A., getting reamed, listening to an Elton John album."
Howard: "
Don't even talk about getting reamed.
Listen, I've been without female companionship for so long, a career as a Jesuit monk looks inviting, Ian is starting to look good to me."
George: "
Must be his green velour socks!"
Jeff: "
You just calm down there, Duke.
Mark: "
Ever since you left the jazz world to seek fame and fortune in the rock & roll industry . . . "
Jeff: "
What do you mean rock & roll?
This fucking band doesn't even play rock & roll, it's all that comedy crap!!"
Ian: "
If we played any rock & roll we might make some money.
I wouldn't mind playing some rock & roll, uh, I like classical music too, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy playing rock & roll.
I mean, it's not very challenging, intellectually, but I wouldn't mind if we did some rock & roll.
We could vote on it."
Jeff: "
Vote on it?
For what?
To tell Zappa we want to play some good music instead of this comedy shit . . .?"
Aynsley: "
I wouldn't mind playing some rock & roll, a bit more commercial, with sort of heavy four part harmony, group vocals and a very heavy beat, that the kids could enjoy.
I think we'd definitely make more money that way."
Ian: "
Maybe after we finish the movie we could play more rock & roll."
Mark: "
Yeah!
We could all quit and form other groups and play more rock & roll."
Jeff: "
And more blues, extended blues, blues but still down and funky, even though you extended it.
George knows what I'm talking about, don't you, George?."
George: "
Leave me out of this.
I come from the jazz world and I know all about these groups that get formed and disappear, with their extensions waving in the moonlight."
Mark: "
You just calm down there, Duke."
Jeff: "
Maybe we could all form a group, we could elect a leader . . .
Howard . . .
We could call it Howard Kaylan World."
Ian: "
We wouldn't have to have any leader."
Jeff: "
We could just jam a lot."
Aynsley: "
But it would have to have a really heavy beat and be really commercial so the kids could enjoy it."
Howard: "
I wanna get laid!
I am so horny I can't stand it!"
Jeff: "
Listen, if you think for a minute anybody likes this comedy music we've been playing you're crazy.
That's why you don't get laid, who wants to fuck a comedian!
None of these girls can take you seriously."
Mark: "
Hang on, you should be careful talking about that kind of stuff."
Jeff: "
Why?
Does he listen?"
Ian: "
He always listens.
He's always watching and listening to all the guys in the band.
I've been in the band for years and I know, he always listens, believe me."
Jeff: "
That's how he gets his material.
He listens to us being natural, friendly, humorous and good-natured, then he rips us off, sneaks off into a secret room someplace and boils it in ammonia, and gets it perverted.
Then he brings it back to us at a rehearsal and makes us play it."
Ian: "
I've been in the group for years and let me tell you that is exactly, that is precisely what he does: He steals all his material."
Mark: "
And the stuff he doesn't steal, Murray Roman writes for him.
Listen, without us he'd be nothing!"
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