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The Very Best of Dr. Demento
01. Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
02. Yoda
03. The Scotsman
04. Fish Heads
05. Bulbous Bouffant
06. Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh (A Letter From Camp)
07. My Dead Dog Rover
08. Don't Eat the Yellow Snow
09. Nanook Rubs It
10. Star Trekkin'
11. Pencil Neck Geek
12. Ti Kwan Leap / Boot to the Head
13. Marvin, I Love You
14. The Smoke Off
15. Dead Puppies
16. Shaving Cream
17. They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!
Back when I was a kid, life was going swell.
Till something happened, blew every thing to hell.
That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak,
Said "A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek."

Mom said, "Sell it to the circus, what the heck."
Dad said, "Nope, this one's a pencil neck.
And if there's one thing lower than a side show freak,
It's a grit eatin', scum suckin', pencil neck geek."

You see if you take a pencil that won't hold lead,
Looks like a pipe cleaner atached to a head,
Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks,
You got yourself a grit eatin', pencil neck geek.

(Chorus)
Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak,
Scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique.
He's a one man, no gut, loosing streak.
Nothin' but a pencil neck geek.

Soon the geeks were poppin' up all over town.
You couldn't hardly sneeze without knockin' one down.
After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick,
Just reach for a geek, they'll do the trick.

One day we cut one up for fish bait.
Learned our lesson just a little bit late.
Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red.
Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead.

Chorus

Most any night you know where I can be found.
Yeah, stomping some geek's head into the ground.
So keep the faith 'cause in Blassie you can trust,
I won't give up 'til the last geek bites the dust.

Chorus

They say, "these geeks come a dime a dozen."
I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplin' the dimes.
Its gonna be real hard times for all of these
Grit eatin',
Scum suckin',
Boot lickin',
Drop kickin',
Gut grindin',
Nail bitin',
Glue sniffin',
Scab pickin',
Butt scratchin',
Egg hatchin',
Sleezy,
Smelly,
Pepper bellied,
Dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks.
Nothing but a pencil neck geek.