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Bob Rivers - Dr. Demento: Holidays in Dementia - The 12 Pains of Christmas
Dr. Demento: Holidays in Dementia
01. The 12 Pains of Christmas
02. It's So Chic to Be Pregnant at Christmas
03. Gridlock Christmas
04. It's Christmas and I Wonder Where I Am
05. Santa Claus Is Watching You
06. Santa's Lament
07. Rusty Chevrolet
08. Christmas Is Coming Twice This Year
09. Christmas Wrapping
10. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town
11. A Terrorist Christmas
12. Stop the Cavalry
13. The Pretty Little Dolly
14. Hanukkah Rocks
15. Hanukkah Homeboy
16. Happy New Year
17. New Year's Resolutions
The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
The Salvation Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez (I'm tryin' to rig up these lights)
And finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me
I wanna Transformer for Christmas
Charities, and what do you mean your in-laws?
Five months of bills
Oh, making out these cards
Honey, get me a beer, huh?
What, we have no extension cords?
And finding a Christmas tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces
Daddy, I want some candy
Donations (facing my in-laws)
Five months of bills
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers (now why the hell are they blinking?)
And finding a Christmas tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
"Batteries not Included" (no parking spaces)
Buy me somethin' (get a job, ya bum)
(Oh, facing my in-laws) five months of bills
Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez, look at this
One light goes out, they all go out
And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me
Stale TV specials ("batteries not included")
No parking spaces (dad, I gotta go to the bathroom)
Charities (she's a witch, I hate her)
Five months of bills
Oh, I don't even know half these people
Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh? (Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse)
And finding a Christmas tree

The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me
Singing Christmas carols (stale TV specials)
"Batteries not included" (no parking?)
Charities (waah, waah) (gotta make 'em dinner)
Five months of bills
I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it
Shut up, you- (fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights)
And finding a Christmas tree