Jenifer (2005)

DVD Cover (Anchor Bay)
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Overall Rating 61%
Overall Rating
Ranked #5,417
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Police officer Frank Spivey saves a disfigured young woman named Jenifer from being slaughtered by a crazy old man. He takes her into his home because she has nowhere else to go, but starts to become obsessed with her. Soon, it becomes clear that there are problems with Jenifer that turn Frank's life upside-down. He realizes that there is only one thing that will keep Jenifer from hurting anyone else and let him return to a normal life. --IMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: August 22, 2006
The fine folks over at Anchor Bay continue to put out those Masters of Horror episodes onto feature-packed DVD releases, and Dario Argento's entry in the series proves to be one of the best yet. While it's not the best entry in the series and it's far from Argento's best work, it does come much closer to the top of those lists than the bottom.

The tale centers around a cop named Frank Spivey (Steven Weber) who decides to get out and stretch his legs a bit after dining on some Chinese takeout in his car. When he exits the car, he almost immediately spots a man dragging a woman off into a more secluded spot, and it doesn't take long for our hero to realize that this man plans to dismember the young lady with a meat cleaver. Like any good cop, he quickly whips out his gun and drops the cleaver-wielding psycho and saves the day. He then proceeds to untie the ladies' hands which have been tied behind her back, and at this point, he realizes two things: first, the woman has an awesome body, and second, she has a face that only a mother could love. Thanks to a note in the now-deceased madman's pocket, he learns that her name is Jenifer (Carrie Fleming), and he also soon learns that she seems to be mentally retarded; she can't speak and it seems as though she doesn't understand what people are saying to her, and her only communication consists of moans and whimpers.

It's eventually decided by the other officers that she should be placed in an insane asylum thanks to the fact that she doesn't appear to have any family, and when Frank finds out about this, he decides to bail her out of the asylum and take her to his house. This doesn't sit too well with his wife, especially when they find out that Jenifer particularly enjoys feasting on the family cat. Now enraged, the wife demands that he choose between her or this monstrous woman, and like any good husband, Frank chooses his wife. He puts Jenifer in his car and proceeds to drive her out into the middle of nowhere, at which point, Jenifer strips off her clothes and decides to give Frank one of the best lays that he's had in ages. With his mind changed about who gets to stay at his house, Frank's wife moves out and it's onwards to more sex... until he learns that felines aren't the only type of raw meat that Jenifer indulges herself in.

While it can be argued that the storyline is pretty lacking here once you get past the appearance of this lady and how she came into Frank's life, it's still a damned enjoyable film. This is thanks to Dario deciding to follow the patented Joe Bob Briggs "Three B's" formula, which states that every horror movie should provide ample amounts of Blood, Breasts, and Beasts (and the more the merrier). Indeed, this movie serves up a hearty helping of each, and it also manages to push the envelope on a few sensitive issues. For example, how often do you see a young child murdered in horror? Not often, and very rarely do you see them literally torn to pieces. The same can be said about the cat mauling found within the running time, and it was good to see that Dario still has the balls to do stuff like this.

My only true complaint about the presentation is the thing that I just got through talking about: the lack of a solid storyline. While I enjoyed the movie, I couldn't help but think that things could have been much better if a little more emphasis had been placed on the storyline and especially on the origins of this woman. It's pretty obvious that this woman more than likely isn't entirely human, so showing us a little something about where she came from would have made the overall storyline much more intriguing. I also noticed on more than one occasion that some of the choices made by our leading man were, quite frankly, more "mentally challenged" than Jenifer. While it's true that most men will do just about anything to get a little tail and it's also true that these same men can deal with an ugly face if the woman has a good figure, the things that this man did to keep the nookie coming just seemed preposterous. Choosing this beastly woman over his own wife, who just so happens to be pretty hot herself? Well, that's a bit out there, but I could accept that. Continuing the "relationship" after witnessing this woman eating a little girls intestines? Now we're pushing things just a bit too far.

However, if you can push some of these faulty logic issues aside and if you're not expecting a whole lot in terms of the storyline, this is definitely worth the rental for horror fans (especially the gorehounds in the audience). There's plenty of those three B's to keep you entertained, and although the movie could have been better, I have to admit that it kept me entertained from start to finish. 6/10.
Tristan #1: Tristan - added November 13, 2007 at 3:07pm
I thought this one was great. Not the best, but definitely in the top 5 of the season. Unfortunately, even this was a victim of censorship, and if you watch the bonus features, you'll see how the dick munching scene would have been had it not been censored up the ass. Like Chad said, this is far from Dario Argento's best work, but considering this man is 100x better than half the directors included in MoH, he gets an automatic 8 by just showing up. 9/10
Symx #2: Symx - added November 12, 2008 at 12:41pm
Her final kill in the movie creeped me out. Far better than Pelts in my opinion. 7/10
Nirrad #3: Nirrad - added January 4, 2009 at 2:48pm
I was a little let down with this one, but I still enjoyed it. Very interesting story. The dick munching scene looked great. 7/10. Anyone else a little turned on from Jenifer? No? ...Damn.
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