Pelts (2006)

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Overall Rating 58%
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A sleazy, desperate fur trader who haunts a local strip club, gets his hands on some priceless raccoon furs that might be more than just priceless but cursed. --IMDb
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Review by Chad
Added: March 18, 2007
The Masters of Horror series has been a hit-or-miss affair thus far, and unfortunately, there have been more misses than hits. However, this one features Dario Argento tackling an F. Paul Wilson story, so you just know that it's going to be good - right? I thought so, for the most part anyway.

Things are kept to a minimum storyline-wise, and it all begins when a fur-trapper (John Saxon) decides to lay down some traps on a cursed plot of land. Not only does he end up catching a large number of raccoons, but these particular coons have fur of the highest quality; needless to say, he sees dollar signs in his future after this haul. He calls up a sleazy fur-trader named Jake Feldman (Meat Loaf) with the intent of giving him first dibs on this lot, and Jake - wanting something special for his stripper love-interest Shana (Ellen Ewusie) - decides to see for himself what the big deal is. What he finds is that these furs are indeed something special... and that they also cause anyone who touches them to die in a violent, bloody fashion.

It's a simple story, but sometimes, simplicity works best in horror. Overly long and drawn-out explanations, hours of back-story, and political commentary all have their places in the genre, but sometimes, you just want a movie that gets from point 'A' to point 'B' and has fun doing it. Pelts is just that type of movie, and if you simply want to see lots of blood and grisly deaths, then you'll fall in love with this entry in the series. That's not to say that this is a simple splatter-flick, because there is an interesting story to be found here. Just don't go into it expecting something thought-provoking or groundbreaking and watch it for what it is: a simple horror flick with plenty of style and the red stuff.

This is a far cry from Dario's better thrillers and story-heavy offerings, but again, that's not to say that it isn't enjoyable. The acting abilities are great (yes, even Meat Loaf shined in his role, and it's always nice to see Saxon getting some work), the story moves along at a brisk pace, and again, gorehounds will eat up the numerous "kills" sprinkled throughout the running time. A woman has her eyes, nose, and mouth sewn shut so that she suffocates, a man dies via scissors (though not in the way that one would expect), and then we have the ending. This particular scene is especially memorable, and if you thought Meat Loaf's appearance in that Tales From the Crypt episode was disgusting, well... wait until you see what he goes through here thanks to that fur coat.

Pelts is worth a rental at the very least, as it's definitely one of the "hits" from the Masters of Horror series. It's not Dario's best work and it probably won't win any awards, but if you take it for what it is and don't expect to see another Argento classic, you'll find that it's a great way to spend an hour in front of the tube. 7/10.
Cryptorchild #1: Cryptorchild - added March 18, 2007 at 7:38pm
I just wasn't too crazy about this one. I really like Jenifer but I just didn't care that much for Pelts. What really bummed me out were the kill scenes. I just thought they looked fake and sort of corny. I dunno. Maybe the next MOH entry (John Carpenter's Pro-Life) will spark my attention a bit more.
Nirrad #2: Nirrad - added July 4, 2008 at 12:30am
Just watched a preview for this. It looks pretty sweet to me. Definitely going to check it out.
Tristan #3: Tristan - added July 4, 2008 at 12:35am
If you're going to check out anything, make it Jenifer. Especially the deleted scenes. A lot of what Argento wanted to do was cut out, but still there in the bonus features. Shame it was cut out, because it would have made the episode a whole lot better. As for this one, I think an 8/10 is appropriate. Not the greatest entry in the season, but still pretty damn good.
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