The Guardian (1990)

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Overall Rating 54%
Overall Rating
Ranked #5,360
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A young couple with a newborn baby don't realize that the nanny they hired is a magical nymph who sacrifices infants to an evil tree. --IMDb
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Review by Crispy
Added: April 12, 2012
God bless Wal-Mart. When I picked up Land of the Dead on DVD, for an extra two cents I got Boogeymen: The Killer Compilation as a bonus. It was essentially a greatest hits compilation featuring all the slasher genre's heavy hitters: Jason, Freddy, Pinhead. Alongside the greats, the feature has a few lesser known baddies thrown in for good measure, including the murderous nanny, Camilla of The Guardian.

After realizing she forgot her glasses, Molly Sheridian turns the car around and heads back home, realizing that her perfect nanny has disappeared with her infant child. Wrapped in a cloak, she has taken the baby into the forest where she feeds it to an evil-looking tree. Three months later, Phil has earned himself a well-paid promotion and moves to LA with his wife Kate, where she reveals that she's expecting . Even with the pay increase, the happy couple's not so sure they can make ends meet, so they start hunting for a nanny allowing Kate to work as well. Enter Camilla. Camilla quickly becomes a trusted member of the family, taking amazing care of newborn baby Jake and helping around the house. She's quite the looker as well. Naturally, such an amazing woman is going to catch a wondering eye or two, and she wins the unwanted attention of a friend of the family. Following her through the woods on her day off, he sees that Camilla has an ancient secret. That she has some rather evil plans for young Jake. That she's not even human.

I'll tell you, that scene from Boogeymen really had me hooked. However, said scene just so happened to be the climax, and there's a good eighty minutes of movie in front of it. And there's not a whole lot going on for those eighty minutes. The plotline focuses more on Camilla bonding with the family and Jake rather than Camilla's true intentions. Sure, there's a few scenes here and there, like Phil's dreams and Camilla being attacked while on the picnic, but these are far and few between. I mean, it's not a bad movie per se; it doesn't drag and the characters are somewhat interesting, but it's nothing particularly breathtaking either. The only thing it actually accomplishes is passing the time.

Fortunately, we've no complaints on the acting side of things. No real praises, but no complaints. First and foremost is Jenny Seagrove, and to put it simply, the whole movie hinged on her performance. Like I said, there's not a whole lot going on throughout the running time, so whatever's happening with her is the only thing the viewers are paying attention to. Fortunately, she was up to the challenge, and even spends some time naked as well. Bonus points. As sad as it is, everyone else is unquestionably reduced to the tertiary level besides Seagrove and Dwier Brown who played Phil. Likewise, he got the job done without any collateral damage.

Sure, it technically has a 90's release date, but just barely. Make no mistake, this movie is just one more in a long line of forgettable 80's horror movies. I'm not going to say avoid it, but if it does happen to come on TV, chances are there's something better on a different channel. 5/10.
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