Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010)

DVD Cover (The Asylum Home Entertainment)
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Overall Rating 24%
Overall Rating
Ranked #5,305
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Connections: Mega Shark

When the prehistoric warm-water beast the Crocosaurus crosses paths with that cold-water monster the Mega Shark, all hell breaks loose in the oceans as the world's top scientists explore every option to halt the aquatic frenzy. Swallowing everything in their paths -- including a submarine or two -- Croc and Mega lead an explorer and an oceanographer on a wild chase. Eventually, the desperate men turn to a volcano for aid. --TMDb
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Review by Crispy
Added: April 9, 2011
Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is one of The Asylum's more memorable titles, and just like Snakes on a Plane it went on to become known more for its status as a internet meme than the movie itself. It was enough to convince them to kick out a sequel the following year.

On the Naval warship the USS Gibson, Lt. Terry McCormick has been experimenting with sharks, trying to discover the exact frequency that will repel sharks. Unfortunately, seems he screwed up the hertz just a bit, as it actually attracts a shark. Not just any shark either, but our friendly neighborhood megalodon that has apparently finished off his tentacled foe in the depths and has returned for a victory buffet. McCormick is the sole survivor of the shark attack, so he offers Special Agent Hutchinson his services to cope with the guilt that he feels for the deaths of his shipmates, including his fiance. Meanwhile, in the Congo, some Australian mercenaries (I assume they're Australian. They had American accents but used words like "mate" and crikey") are forcing the natives to mine for diamonds. Naturally, they mine a bit too deep, and awaken a fifteen hundred foot crocodile that likewise sets off for supper. Poacher Nigel Putnam is hired by the company funding the mine to eradicate the lizard, and successfully tranquilizes it and attempts to transport it overseas to make a quick buck. Unfortunately, the voyage is interrupted by another shark attack, and the crocodile escapes and begins laying thousands of eggs all over the world. It just so happens that croc eggs are something of a delicacy in the megalodon world, and obviously Mama isn't having it. Once again, the military realizes that the best course of action would be to simply sit back and let the two destroy themselves, but after the shark has proven so resilient and with the potential of a thousand new crocosauruses hatching, the stakes are much higher this time.

As luck would have it, The Asylum ups the ante in all the right spots here, and Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus tops the original in all possible areas (bear in mind that given the type of film we're discussing, we're dealing with lower bars all around). Perhaps the most noticeable improvement is the action. One of the things that bothered me most about the last film was the plot, and by that I mean they added too much of it. Way too much focus was spent on the humans instead of the beasts, and when said beasts finally did go at it, it was mostly just repeated scenes of the shark wrapped in tentacles. Both problems are remedied here, as the running time is laden with attacks by one of the creatures. And by film's end when the two finally throw down (thankfully not nearly as far into the running time as it took shark and octopus to drop the metaphorical gloves), the fight is actually worth seeing, as a shark and a crocodile are a bit more suited for a brawl. Again though, like the last one the CGI sucks and there's a lot of reused animation, but it's still entertaining.

The cast is also a huge step up here (again, lower bars), although, to be fair a huge part of that claim may be due to the fact that they aren't focused on as much as they were last time. Anyway, Gary Stretch leads the pack as the sarcastic Nigel Putnam, with Sarah Lieving's cold Hutchinson not far behind. Oh, and McCormick is played by Jaleel 'Steve fucking Urkel' White. How's that for star power? Yeah, I wouldn't call any of these performances stellar by any means, but there was shockingly little collateral damage done. Even so, Lorenzo Lamas' racist character was definitely missed.

The last movie has received some seriously mixed reviews, and this one is absolutely no different. If you thought Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus was the colossal piece of garbage that, objectively speaking, it was, than steer clear of the sequel; but if you were one of the ones who found an hour and a half of brain-dead entertainment out of it, you'll definitely a get kick out of this one as well. 7/10.
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