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48%
Overall Rating
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Ranked #8,320
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Completely topless! Completely uninhibited! The wayout craze that began in San Francisco is now exploding across the USA and Europe. National publications have documented the "Topless", but nowhere has it been as thoroughly covered (or uncovered) as it is in Russ Meyer's rampaging motion picture Mondo Topless. The film is believably real - but "unbelievable" just barely describes all of Meyer's discotheque discoveries! Fantastic women, fantastic dances - the "buxotics" - in an incendiary tribute to unrestrained female anatomy featuring the world's loveliest bosom brigade!
--IMDb
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Review by Tristan
Added: October 2, 2007
But enough of this palaver, let's get this show on the road...
Breasts. 60 minutes of breasts is all you're in for with this one. Large, bouncing and swinging breasts. It's called Mondo Topless, what did you expect? Meyer made this after Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! to make a quick buck. It shows, as it's not much more than strippers and go-go girls, doing their thing while a narrator, well, narrates.
Our opening scene is a montage of San Fransisco attractions with the odd girl dancing on the beach or in the woods somewhere, with the narrator yelling with the charisma of a street preacher. "San Fransisco, thrusts itself into the bosom of the Pacific. San Fransisco, precariously perched and poised on the tip of a peninsula." You get the idea. The lineup of ladies is nothing to sneeze at however, as these seven girls are quite well endowed, as well as stunningly attractive. They're even good looking by today's standards, which proves that a classic beauty never dies. We have Bouncy (Babette Bardot), Pat Barrington as herself, Lucious (Sin Lenee), Buxotic (Darlene Grey), Yummy (Diane Young), Delicious (Darla Paris) and my personal favourite Xciting (Donna X).
Then the ladies gyrate some more, sharing details about their lives, such as enjoying being looked at, and their sleeping habits. This is pretty damn pointless, and it seemed that Meyer knew this, as the narrator quickly changes the pace and moves from girl to girl quickly. Then the movie focuses on each of the seven dancers one at a time, while they go through their routine and babble about whatever hippies talk about.
This is just your typical nudist film of the 1960's. I'm all for nudity, but this movie just pissed me off. There isn't much going for it, as it's an hour of nude women dancing while the narrator (John Furlong) rambles on about essentially nothing. Personally, I could only find two redeeming qualities in this movie. One is the music. It's a nice mix of slow jazz, and some soft rock from the 60's which I've always been partial to. I'll give it a thumbs up for the music. The second is John Furlong. He didn't have much of a part, but what he did say had me laughing pretty hard. Judging by the intensity in his voice, he must have taken himself pretty seriously.
I will say this though, for all you O&A fans out there, if you ever wondered where the line "But enough of this palaver...." came from, now you know. It's because of that, that I watched this movie, and what a waste of time it was.
2/10
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