Dave?
No, man, it's me
Oh, far out, come on in, man
Hey, what's happening, man?
Oh, not much, man
Hey, what are you doing?
I'm just watching TV, man
Watching TV? What's wrong with your TV?
I don't know, man, it's been like that all day, man
Hey, well, let me mess with it, okay?
Go ahead, man
Oh, hey, there you go
Far out, man, what did you do?
I turned it on, man
Oh
Today, you are in a on a most dangerous mission
Today, you take a high up in the sky
Find the Yankee aircraft carrier
Take a plane down fast
Crashing on the deck, killing yourself and all aboard
Before we have a ceremonial sake toast
Are there any questions?
Yeah, in the back, Sakemoto
Hassle
Are you out of your fucking mind?
We'll be back to our movie in a minute
But first, here's a word from our sponsors
Howdy-hi, there, friends and neighbors
This is your old pal El Monte Slim tellin' ya
Come on down here to White Tract Town in Wilmington
Goddamn, we got some out-of-sight bargains here for you in cars
And be sure to bring the kiddies, too
'Cause we got free pony rides and lollipops for all the little folks
Talk about suckers, look at this sucker over here
Yes siree, Bob, that's a '58 Dodge pickup, it's white, of course
Got your radio, got your heater, got your overdrive
And it's got your easy-rider rifle rack
Yes, sir, with room for not one, but
Three of your favorite rifles, yes, sir
Now be sure to ask for it by license plate number KKKU2
And for the first hundred of you mothers to come on down
We got a free "America: Love It Or Leave It" bumper sticker, yes, sir
So come on down, ask for El Monte Slim
Now back to our movie, "The Jackson 5 Story"
Starring the Osmond Brothers
And we'll be right back to our movie
But first, here's a commercial message
Howdy-hi, there, friends and neighbors
This is your old pal El Monte Slim tellin' ya
Come on down here to White Tract Town in Wilmington
Goddamn, we got some out-of-sight bargains here for you in cars
And listen, for the first ten thousand
Of you people to come on down here today
We got free sandwiches and coffee
If you haven't done your clothes, bring 'em on down
'Cause we got free washers and dryers
Now look here, you're probably wondering how to get here
Well, you take any freeway and get off at the Wilmington cutoff
You go ninety-seven miles straight '
Til you come to a north and a south
You don't wanna go south, you wanna go north
Head on straight north 'til you come to the Tastee Freez
Make a right and go ninety-seven miles straight
'Til you come to the Standard Station
Go right in that Standard Station, walk up
To the man, say, "Where the hell am I?"
And now, back to our movie, "The Jackson 5 Story"
Starring the Osmond Brothers
And we'll be right back to our movie, but
First, here's another commercial message
Hey, man, can I change this, man?
I think there's a good movie on UHF
Yeah, man, change it, man, by all means
Okay
Hey, what's happening, man?
Hey, this is your old amigo Sanchez de San Fernando saying
Come on down to White Tract Town here in Wilmington, ese
Hey, man, we got some out-of-sight shorts here for you to look at, man
Hey, just look at this short over here
It's a '53 Chevy with pink and purple tuckeroles
For cruising and everything, man
And look at the extras, man
Fuzzy dice and a pair of bongos in the back, hey
And look at the color, man, turquoise blue and primer gray, hey, chur
And look at the spacious glove compartment
Room for twenty tubes of glue and a
Bottle of Española for Saturday night
And cheap, too, only fifty dollars
Some fifty dollars, for fifty years
Just come on in, ask for El— ask for
Ask for— what the hell is my name?
Oh, yeah, Sanchez de San Fernando
Now back to our movie, Zorro, starring John Wayne
Oh, hijo de la
Hey, man, turn that baboso off, will you?
Hey, man, hey, man, I got something I want you to hear, man
It's a new Cheech and Chong record, man
A what? Who, man?
It's a Cheech and Chong record, man, they're two funny guys
Here, put it on, man
Oh, yeah, all right
Handle it by the edges, man
Oh, yeah, man
I waited for three weeks to get this, man
Yeah, man
Be careful with it, man
Yeah, all right
Okay
Hey, man, watch out, be careful with it, man
Oh, oh, yeah, man, I got it, man
Just a minute, man
Hey, man, what the
Just a minute, man
Hey, man
Just cool, man, I'll get it, man
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