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The FuMP, Vol. 91: January - February 2022
01. The Hopping Song
02. The Longest Lime
03. Under Construction
04. The Scary‐Go‐Round
05. Happiest Place on Earth
06. Can’t Spell Sanctimonious Without Sca
07. Yappy Dog
08. A the One
09. Why Did I Ever Sell My Music Catalog?
10. Cheesy Love Song
11. I’m Fine* (with an Asterisk)
12. I Like Borko
13. White Bread Boyfriend
14. Nobody Believes Me
15. A Familiar Ring
16. It’s Hard Out Here for a Temp
17. Take the Fire Back (Prometheus Has Left the Building)
I guess I'm lonely, whatever that means,
But when I see you in your pre-embroidered jeans,
I get this feeling, like, prob'ly in my heart,
That most of the time, we should never be apart.
You're kinda pretty. I guess for now you'll do...
I mean, you're beautiful, nobody comes close to you...
And all that rubbish girls like to be told.
You gotta know this stuff when you are seventeen years old.

I guess I'm saying let's turn a new leaf.
I'll wear my A&F hat askewly,
And we can go, where to? I don't know,
But baby, I guess that I love you truly, and

I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
I want to be your mainstream man.
I wanna be your typical toy, and
Break up in time for college plans, and

I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
(I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.)
I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
(I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.)

Well, I can skateboard, and I play the guitar.
I'll take you out and about in my parents' car.
We'll catch a movie, get some McDonald's,
Go to a party, let somebody else clean up the bottles.
I'm getting desperate. I know how love hurts.
I would give up my sneakers and my polo shirts
To be your sweetheart. I am sorta nice.
You could do better, but I'll probably suffice.

I'll serenade you, like all the others,
With overplayed Dave Matthews Band covers.
Is it the love, or the lack there of
That tells us we might as well become lovers?

I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
I want to be your bargain beau.
You're like my soulmate, let's hold hands
So everyone at the mall can know, woahohhh.

(Mediocre mediocre mediocre mediocre...)
(Mediocre mediocre mediocre mediocre...)
(Mediocre mediocre mediocre mediocre...)
(Mediocre mediocre mediocre mediocre...)
(Mediocre!)

I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
I want to be your mainstream man.
I wanna be your typical toy, and
Break up in time for college plans, and

I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
(I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.)
I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.
(I wanna be your white bread boyfriend.)