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The FuMP, Vol. 67: January - February 2018
01. The Brushing Song
02. Elevator Music
03. The Sexual Harassment Prevention Song
04. I Think You
05. Tuesday’s Song (Is Not Yet Posted)
06. A Confederacy of Douches
07. Too Old to Be a Boy Band but Too Young to Die
08. A Hufflepuff (Knocked My House Elf Up)
09. The Lost Art of Not Kicking People in the Face
10. Oy, What a World
11. The Horseman Won
12. Religion and Politics Ya‐Ta‐Ta! Ya‐Ta‐Ta!
13. Playin’ Games
14. Google You
15. High School Facebook Friend
16. Buccaneer
17. The Thursday Carol
Hearty sirs don't get hurt
Can't feel anything, when will ye learn?
We batten down, batten down

I'm the one for a bar time brawl,
Cannon's blowin' up, swabbin' up the hall,
Ye scurvy dog, scurvy dog,

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, ARR!
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, ARR!
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, ARR!

Throw 'em back 'til I lose count

I am the king, I'm a buccaneer, a buccaneer!
I'm gonna live like I have doubloons in my fist
Doubloons in my fist
(That means money)
I'm a tough guy when I plunder and smite (he'll plunder you), a black patch upon me eye
(Patches)
I'm gonna drink from me goblet of beer, from me goblet of beer!
(Alcoholics)

But I'm holding onto me knife, sailing seas and wide open skies,
Keep me mug full until morning light, keelhaul lubbers and murder outright
(He'll murder you)
Heave Ho, hearties hold onto your knife, won't go down, til we get the prize
Keep my mug full until morning light, keep my enemies all filled with fright
All filled with fright

Sun is up, hit the crow's nest
Gotta get up now, all hands on deck
Anchors aweigh, anchors aweigh

1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, ARR!
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, ARR!
1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, ARR!

Throw 'em back 'til I lose count

I am the king, I'm a buccaneer, a buccaneer!
I'm gonna live like I have doubloons in my fist
Doubloons in my fist!
I'm a tough guy, when I plunder and smite, a black patch upon my eye
I'm gonna drink from me goblet of beer, from me goblet of beer!

But I'm holding onto me knife, sailing seas and wide open skies,
Keep me mug full until morning light, keelhaul lubbers and murder outright
(Murder, yeah!)
Heave Ho, hearties hold onto your knife, won't go down, 'til we get the prize
('til we get the prize)
Keep my mug full until morning light, keep my enemies all filled with fright
All filled with fright

All filled with fright
Keep my enemies all filled with fright
Oh, my enemies all filled with fright
All filled with fright
All filled with fright
Keep my enemies all filled with fright
Grab ye lubbers, and fill them with fright!
(I think they get it)
Yar har, me hearties, keep your enemies all filled with fright
(No, seriously)
Oh, all my enemies, filled with fright!
(They heard you the first time)
I need a throat lozenge
(Menthol)
Sea spray is hard on the throat.