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THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT
01. Fortnight
02. The Tortured Poets Department
03. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
04. Down Bad
05. So Long, London
06. But Daddy I Love Him
07. Fresh Out the Slammer
08. Florida!!!
09. Guilty as Sin?
10. Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?
11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
12. loml
13. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
15. The Alchemy
16. Clara Bow
17. The Manuscript
Drowning in the Blue Nile
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
My boredom's bone-deep
This cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry?

I dream of cracking locks
Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks
Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox
I'm seeing visions, am I bad?
Or mad? Or wise?

What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss
How I long for our trysts
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?

I keep these longings locked
In lowercase, inside a vault
Someone told me, "There's no such thing as bad thoughts
Only your actions talk"

These fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath
Taking all of me, we've already done it in my head
If it's make-believe
Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
My bedsheets are ablaze, I've screamed his name
Building up like waves crashing over my grave
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?

What if I roll the stone away?
They're gonna crucify me anyway
What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?
If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me
They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly
I choose you and me religiously

What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?

He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
Am I allowed to cry?