Mr. Romo, I must admit that I'm puzzled. You hipsters claim to be
Such relaxed, free spirits, yet your rules for social behavior
Are even more set-tight and rigid than those of square society
Yeah, well, dig, it's simple. I'll spell it out for you. A lot of
The simple, everyday behavior is illegal. So there's always a lot
Of heat on the scene. And, you know, you gotta protect yourself
Now, if you break the rules of hip, you get put down, that's true
But you break the square rules and they throw you in the slam, and
That's a big difference. Now, anyway, look. There's only two basic
Rules in hip. You protect yourself from the possibility of police
Intervention, which means you don't associate with uncool people and
Things. And you protect your state of mind. Now, that means you don't
Want anybody around who's gonna bring you down, right? We talked
About that. You understand what I mean? You follow the hip
Commandment: thou shalt not bug thy neighbor
Which means 'be cool.' That's all
Cool. 'Cool' is a word that seems to
Change meaning every time it's used
Yeah, it does. 'Cool it' means 'stop it.' You know, or 'change the
Subject' or 'split' or 'it's a warning.' All those things and just
That one thing. 'It's cool with me' means 'okay.' 'It's okay.' 'It's
Cool' means 'it's alright' or 'it's not dangerous.' 'Cool' means
Something all by itself, you know, but it's like trying to define
Hip. You know, hip in general, or righteousness. You know? You can
Give a hundred examples of what it isn't, but, man, you're gonna have
A hell of a time saying what it is. You know, like here's an example
Say you've gone out and done in your head. You know? Or you've stayed
In and done in your head and gone out, or you've done both everywhere
You went. And it's 4:30 in the morning and you're in a diner, eating
Your banana cream pie. And sits down right opposite you a cop. Now
Your natural reaction is going to be 'I want to laugh hysterically.'
You know? But some part of you says 'Nay, this is an urge of some
Self-destructive part of you.' And you say to yourself 'Be cool!'
You know? Unless, of course, you blow your cool and come all unglued
In front of everybody. Then no use to say 'be cool' because it's
Happened. And then you're going to attract the attention of the cop
And he's going to regard you as a menace. And this will get you a
Reputation as a very uncool face, having everybody seen this cop
Regard you as a menace. And all in all it's a drag, you know? The
Hip thing is to be able to perform the exactly appropriate action at
All times. And that is not easy. It leads to paranoia. You know? '
What's that?' You know, 'Who's that? Who's out there? What's that car?
Who's in that car? Why is that car there? That car wasn't there
What what?' You know? The 'what, what, who, where.' The eyeball
Disease. You get jumpy. It creeps up in you sometimes. Paranoia is
The hipster's disease. Yeah, like I was at a party once, you know
In the cemented park out in front of the UN building. You know, and
I got drugged, so I split. Then I walked over to 2nd Avenue and 40th
And I went into this little restaurant, you know, in Needics or
Rikers or something, it doesn't matter. Anyway, I ordered a bowl of
Jell-O, you know, with milk, raspberry. I mean raspberry Jell-O. And
It was great, so I ordered another bowl. But halfway through my third
Bowl of raspberry Jell-O, I realized that if I ordered another bowl
The counterman would call the cops, you know? 'There's this nut
Eating Jell-O, looks funny to me, better come over and pick him up.'
You know, so I split, you know, I got in the wind, very carefully
There's a definite way to do that, sort of like 'Well, I've
Had enough Jell-O, now I just think I'll go for a walk. It's
A very touchy situation.' So I got out and I got to 42nd
Street to a and I have another bowl of Jell-O, same kind
And man, I wanna tell you, I worked my way up to 68th Street
Eating Jell-O, driven by hunger and paranoia. You know, because
Life is not without its hazards, man, you know what I mean?
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