I'm my own grandpa
Now, I understand the battle of the New Orleans
And also the Waterloo
But tell me why I'm my own grandpa
And I'll be much obliged to you
Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they two were wed
This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter who of course was my step-mother
I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa
Well, father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too
Now, if my wife is my grandmother then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa
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