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Well, on a Monday I'll be slinging hash
Tuesday, I'll be collecting trash
And on a Wednesday, I might be tending bar
Thursday, I'll be the guy who parks the car
And on a Friday I might be teaching school
Saturday finds me hustling pool
I got a whole lotta talent that's in demand
That's why they call me handy man
Ba-ba-ba
All the neighborhood girls and boys
Ba-ba-ba-ba
They come to me to mend their toys
Da-da-da-da
Their daddies call me to mow their lawn
And their mommies all call me when their daddies are gone
I can drive a tractor or wheel a truck
I can deal a hand of poker with exceptional luck
And I can chop down a redwood using just one hand
That's why they call me handy man
Ba-ba-ba, oh yeah
You know, if you need me for emergencies
I can be found and just, you know
Work around the house and the backyard, something
Not too taxing, though
Yeah, six in the morning, I'm out picking fruit
8:45, I'm back pressing suits
Twelve o'clock, you'll see me shining shoes
The cocktail hour I'll be serving booze
I can wash your windows or walk your pets
Get your color reception out of black and white set
Yeah, I can play a concerto on your baby grand
'Cause I'm a handy man
Ba-ba-ba
All the neighborhood girls and boys
They come to me to mend their toys
Their daddies call me to mow their lawn
And their mommies all call me when their daddies are gone
I save my evenings for brand new faces
Weekends I reserve for emergency cases
I tell you, babe, you gotta understand
That I'm a handy man
I mean a handy man, you know what I mean?
I mean a handy man, yeah
You know already
Lady next door told you
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