Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh, I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done
You say either and I say either
You say neither and I say neither
Either, either, neither, neither
Let's call the whole thing off
You like potato and I like "potahto"
You like tomato and I like "tomahto"
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto
Let's call the whole thing off
But oh, if we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And oh, if we ever part
Then that might break my heart
So if you like pyjamas and I like "pyjahmas"
I'll wear pyjamas and give up pyjahmas
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off
You say laughter and I say "larfter"
You say after and I say "arfter"
Laughter, larfter, after, arfter
Let's call the whole thing off
You like vanilla and I like "vanella"
You saspiralla, and I "saspirella"
Vanilla, vanella, chocolate, strawberry
Let's call the whole thing off
But oh, if we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And oh, if we ever part
Then that might break my heart
So if you go for oysters and I go for "ersters"
I'll order oysters and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off
I say father, and you say "pater"
I saw mother and you say "mater"
Pater, mater, uncle, auntie, let's call the whole thing off
I like bananas and you like "banahnahs"
I say Havana and I get "Havahnah"
Bananas, banahnahs, Havana, Havahnah
Go your way, I'll go mine
So if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters
So all right, no contest, we'll order lobster
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off
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