She's just sixteen years old
Leave her alone, they said
So I did
Because that is statutory rape, ladies and gentlemen
Let's be honest, that's a weird song, right?
Number one hit, 1985, ah, what do you do?
But seriously, folks, to be honest, you know, the
A lot of controversy in the news lately and so
I want you to understand that we take this stuff seriously
And you know, I sing up here and I make jokes
And we have a crazy time, but
If you're a woman and you're in the audience tonight
And you feel like there's someone bothering you
Like if you feel someone's, you know
Trying to give you a roofie or someone's harassing you
Please let me know
Because we want to make sure that everyone has a good experience here
The Me Too movement is something that we
All need to respect, ladies and gentlemen
So if you are a woman and something is
Going wrong and you need to get my attention
The best way to get my attention is to flash your tits at me
And then I'll know that you're being sexually harassed
What did you say, sir?
"Jesus, really?"
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