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And now, ladies and gentlemen
I'd like to take you on a trip
To a galaxy
Far, far
Away
How 'bout this band?
Are they something, ladies and gentlemen?
What do you say we have these guys
Play some solos for you?
Are you ready, ladies and gentlemen?
Piano solo!
Bass solo!
Drum solo!
Han Solo!
See, because his name is Solo
And they were playing solos
So I go "Han Solo"
Thank you so much
If this is a consulate ship
Where's the ambassador?
Thank you so much, thank you
"Zipline, zipline..."
I never get tired of that
See, because Gary Coleman was in "Diff'rent Strokes"
And his catchphrase was
"What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
Right? So I zagged
And I said, "Zipline, zipline"
Another diminutive actor of color
You see?
There is no off position
On the genius switch, ladies and gentlemen
Catch!
I cannot believe
That those four nerdy guys
That that landed in between
Did not bump their heads
Reaching for the Han Solo doll
They used to be such fuckin' cool geeks
You know, and now they're just fuckin' lazy
"Oh, Han Solo, I missed it. Oh, well
I've already got it
It's the Hoth one, I already have that one
I have the Hoth battle pack
I have the Endor battle pack"
Have you guys seen the, uh
Tauntaun dog sleeper?
Where you can put your dog
Inside the open belly of the Tauntaun
It's like a big stuffed animal
And there's a slit in it
And you can put your head in there
Or your dog's head
I saw it in SkyMall
SkyMall is so great
I got Frank from SkyMall
He was on, I don't know
You know the page with all the, like
The gnomes and the thing you can nail
Into a tree to give the tree a face?
He was on the next page
It said, "Own a drummer"
I was like, "Okay"
Called SkyMall and they sent him over
He's been great in the band so far
But the shipping and handling
Was really expensive
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