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Dr. Demento's Basement Tapes No. 16
01. Cellular Degeneration
02. Hold On, I've Got to Take This
03. Butt Floss Girl
04. Re: Your Song About My Client Delilah
05. Never Date a Musician
06. Coffee Girl
07. Brownies for Breakfast
08. Count to Ten
09. Dementia Revolution
10. The Nascar Song
11. The Verb To Be
12. 99 Words for Boobs
13. The Day the Data Died
14. I Was Just Flipped Off by a Silver-Haired Old Lady With a "Honk If You Love Jesus" Sticker on the Bumper of Her Car
15. Rehabilitation
16. The People Who Live in Your Apartment Building Singing Song
17. Immigration
18. The One That Doesn't Suck So Bad
19. We've Been Through Some Crappy Times Before
20. The Arkansas Traveler
21. Than Ireland
You know I love to count to ten
So I made this song
Everybody knows the words
Why don't you sing along

One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten
One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten

Hank was a hockey player
He always smiled real nice
'Till he took a nasty cross-check
And his teeth spilled on the ice

One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten
One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten

Starla is a stripper
Workin' all night long
She'll rent you her dignity
For ten bucks in her thong

One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten
One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten

Connor and Katie are Catholics
Livin' in Dublin town
They don't use no prophylactics
'Cause they make the pontiff frown

One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten
One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten

Paris is a party girl
You know you'd love to do
Count up the diseases
That she can give to you

One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten
One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten

Barbara has a boyfriend
Sees him every night
Every time he drops his pants
She squeals with delight

One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten
One, two, three
Four, five, six
Seven, eight, nine and ten

Freddie was a farmer
Made his living off the land
But now he counts a different way
Since the combine caught his hand

One, two, three
Four, five, six... nine...
One, two, three
Four, five, six... nine...

Kevin drives a cargo van
From here to Mexico
Bringin' you cheap labor
At fifty bucks a throw

Uno, dos, tres
Cuatro, cinco, seis
Siete, ocho, nueve, diez
Uno, dos, tres
Cuatro, cinco, seis
Seven, eight, nine and ten
Ten little Mexicans
In the back of Kevin's van
Kevin's goin' back again
For the Mexicans' ten friends
Seven, eight, nine and ten