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Dr. Demento's Basement Tapes No. 14
01. Opening Band
02. Alone Again
03. My Cat Is Afraid of the Vacuum Cleaner
04. Doug
05. Halloween
06. I Got Crabs From Darth Vader
07. Dumbledore
08. Spam
09. Digging Machine
10. The Guy Who Doesn't Know Things
11. I Like You
12. Silo Inferno
13. 2600
14. The Carbon Cycle
15. Life
16. Be Kind to the Animals
17. Aliens Really Stink
18. Blue Man in a Red State
19. What Scares You?
20. Coroner and Knives
21. My Clone Is an Idiot
22. Why Do We Write Songs We Don't Understand?
23. Banana Oil
24. You Don't Take Your Showers
This one's weird, 'cause I can only play it once a year.

On Halloween.

Scary...

Thinking of all the cool creatures
That I will meet... on this night.
Ghosts and goblins and witches,
Roaming the streets... in moonlight.

Bowls of candy and goodies,
Delicious and waiting... in store.
The sound of cute little footsteps
As they approach... my front door.

Letting the children inside to drink beers,
Razor blades hidden in three musketeers,
Screams from the basement of kids begging to be set free...
That's what Halloween means to me.

Tightening the clamps that are holding
Their little heads... so tight.
Putting my lips to their ears
As I whisper, "Please... don't fight."

I promise I'll let you go home
If you swear not to tell... a soul!
Well, I'll just untie these—I'm kidding.
Now, where is my chainsaw? Let's rock and roll!

A pinch of your brother, a teaspoon of you,
With the head of your sister, would make a good stew.
I'd give you a taste, but your tongue's in the stew. Irony!
That's what Halloween means to me.

Trick-or-treat, smell my feet,
Give me something good to eat.
Trick-or-treat, smell my feet,
Give me someone... good to eaaaat!