I'm going to leave you with this little story.
It's about this piece of music,
it's a very popular piece of music.
I'm sure you all know it,
but I'll sing the melody right now.
(sings melody - "ba, da, da, da, da, da...)
Yeah, Pachelbel's Cannon in D.
It's a big hit in the classical world,
and I know this because I'm a geek.
I know what you're thinking.
It's like, "Rob you can't be a geek,
you play guitar, you're so cool."
Okay, you weren't thinking that, but I was, um.
Well I haven't always been this cool because
I haven't always played guitar.
I started out on the chello.
Yeah, chello is a wonderful, beautiful instrument.
It's cool to be an adult that plays the chello.
Being a kid that played the chello sucked.
Becasue there's no way to be cool when
your instruments is larger than you.
When you walk to school with a chello,
you're like a wounded gazelle on the Saranghetti, man.
The bullies just smell you coming from a mile away.
"Ooh, I don't know what that thing is,
but I know I'm going to break it."
But I put up with all of the abuse because
I loved the music that we played.
I loved everything we played in orchestra,
except this.
I hate Pachelbel's Cannon in D with a passion.
I hate it so much bevause
the chello part is the worst chello part
ever written in the history of chello parts.
It's eight quarter notes that we repeated
over and over again.
They are as follows:
F sharp
And that's all we got to play.
We repeated those eight notes fifty-four times.
I counted, because I had nothing else to do.
I would sit back and listen as the
violins got lovely melodies.
The violas would get lovely melodies.
The second violins would get lovely melodies,
which should just not happen.
And the chello, we got stuck with eight, crappy, lousy, stinking notes.
And I began to wonder,
"Why, why would Pachelbel do that to us,
such a beautiful instrument?"
And my theory was he once dated a chellist,
and she dissed him really bad,
so for the rest of his life, he came up with
the worst chello parts he could ever think of.
And it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't hear him everyday.
I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking,
"Rob, don't listen to classical radio anymore."
I... it doesn't matter,
Pachelbel's following me.
It sounds paranoid, but he's following you too.
You hear him everyday. I don't know.
I went to my step-nephew-in-law's
eighth grade graduation and their graduation song was a song by Vitamin C. No.
"As we go on, we'll remember,
la, da, da, da, da, da, da, da"
So on the drive home I turned on some Classic Rock, some Aerosmith.
"There was a time, when I was so brokenen hearted,
la, da, da, da, da, da, da, da"
So I got home. I thought I'd clear my mind with some folk music. No.
"Listen children to my story, it was written long ago,
uh, ba, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da"
They do Pachelbel just like everybody does Pachelbel, just to torment me.
I don't even go to Taco Bell anymore cause it sounds too close.
I hate Pachelbel with a passion.
I don't even know his first name.
It's probably Yohan,
They're all named Yohan.
And when you think about it,
he's the original one-hit-wonder.
He had one hit three hundred years ago.
It's my cross to bear my entire life.
Where are they now?
That's what I want to know.
Where are you now, Pachelbel?
VH1's I love the 1790's, where is it?
And if you would just stay from music that I loved, it would be better.
But he won't.
He is shameless.
He will follow me to the ends of the Earth.
I went to Horde Festival thimking,
"No, he couldn't possibly follow me to the Horde Festival."
But you know who's at the Horde Festival?
Blue's Traveller, and that means Pachelbel was also at the Horde Festival,
cause it was:
"Suck it in, suck it in, suck it in,
if you're Anne Boleyn or Rin Tin Tin,
MAKE A desperate move and then you're in,
Ah, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da"
So I figured I'm going to listen to punk rock for the rest of my life.
No dice.
"Do you have the time,
to listen to me whine
about da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,
You know I'm getting really bored,
cause all songs gave the same damn chords.
Punk music is a joke.
It's really just baroke.
Am I just paranoid na, na, na, na, na, na..."
"I wanna push you around,
well I will, well I will
I wanna put you down,
well I will, I will"
"woah, It's been good living with you"
"In my machine head, it's better than the rest
my machine head, it's better than the- "
"See the stone set in her eye,
see the thorns set in her- "
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