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Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic
Disc 1
01. Ricky
02. Gotta Boogie
03. I Love Rocky Road
04. Buckingham Blues
05. Happy Birthday
06. Stop Draggin’ My Car Around
07. My Bologna
08. The Check’s in the Mail
09. Another One Rides the Bus
10. I’ll Be Mellow When I’m Dead
11. Such a Groovy Guy
12. Mr. Frump in the Iron Lung
Disc 2
01. Eat It
02. Midnight Star
03. The Brady Bunch
04. Buy Me a Condo
05. I Lost on Jeopardy
06. Polkas on 45
07. Mr. Popeil
08. King of Suede
09. That Boy Could Dance
10. Theme From Rocky XIII
11. Nature Trail to Hell
Disc 3
01. Like a Surgeon
02. Dare to Be Stupid
03. I Want a New Duck
04. One More Minute
05. Yoda
06. George of the Jungle
07. Slime Creatures From Outer Space
08. Girls Just Want to Have Lunch
09. This Is the Life
10. Cable TV
11. Hooked on Polkas
Disc 4
01. Living With a Hernia
02. Dog Eat Dog
03. Addicted to Spuds
04. One of Those Days
05. Polka Party!
06. Here’s Johnny
07. Don’t Wear Those Shoes
08. Toothless People
09. Good Enough for Now
10. Christmas at Ground Zero
Disc 5
01. Fat
02. Stuck in a Closet With Vanna White
03. (This Song’s Just) Six Words Long
04. You Make Me
05. I Think I’m a Clone Now
06. Lasagna
07. Melanie
08. Alimony
09. Velvet Elvis
10. Twister
11. Good Old Days
Disc 6
01. Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies
02. Gandhi II
03. Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters From a Planet Near Mars
04. Isle Thing
05. The Hot Rocks Polka
06. UHF
07. Let Me Be Your Hog
08. She Drives Like Crazy
09. Generic Blues
10. Spatula City
11. Fun Zone
12. Spam
13. The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota
Disc 7
01. Smells Like Nirvana
02. Trigger Happy
03. I Can’t Watch This
04. Polka Your Eyes Out
05. I Was Only Kidding
06. The White Stuff
07. When I Was Your Age
08. Taco Grande
09. Airline Amy
10. The Plumbing Song
11. You Don’t Love Me Anymore
12. 10 Minutes of Silence
13. Bite Me
Disc 8
01. Jurassic Park
02. Young, Dumb & Ugly
03. Bedrock Anthem
04. Frank’s 2000″ TV
05. Achy Breaky Song
06. Traffic Jam
07. Talk Soup
08. Livin’ in the Fridge
09. She Never Told Me She Was a Mime
10. Harvey the Wonder Hamster
11. Waffle King
12. Bohemian Polka
Disc 9
01. Amish Paradise
02. Everything You Know Is Wrong
03. Cavity Search
04. Callin’ In Sick
05. The Alternative Polka
06. Since You’ve Been Gone
07. Gump
08. I’m So Sick of You
09. Syndicated Inc.
10. I Remember Larry
11. Phony Calls
12. The Night Santa Went Crazy
Disc 10
01. The Saga Begins
02. My Baby’s in Love With Eddie Vedder
03. Pretty Fly for a Rabbi
04. The Weird Al Show Theme
05. Jerry Springer
06. Germs
07. Polka Power!
08. Your Horoscope for Today
09. It’s All About the Pentiums
10. Truck Drivin’ Song
11. Grapefruit Diet
12. Albuquerque
Disc 11
01. Couch Potato
02. Hardware Store
03. Trash Day
04. Party at the Leper Colony
05. Angry White Boy Polka
06. Wanna B Ur Lovr
07. A Complicated Song
08. Why Does This Always Happen to Me?
09. Ode to a Superhero
10. Bob
11. eBay
12. Genius in France
Disc 12
01. White & Nerdy
02. Pancreas
03. Canadian Idiot
04. I’ll Sue Ya
05. Polkarama!
06. Virus Alert
07. Confessions, Part III
08. Weasel Stomping Day
09. Close but No Cigar
10. Do I Creep You Out
11. Trapped in the Drive‐Thru
12. Don’t Download This Song
Disc 13
01. Perform This Way
02. CNR
03. TMZ
04. Skipper Dan
05. Polka Face
06. Craigslist
07. Party in the CIA
08. Ringtone
09. Another Tattoo
10. If That Isn’t Love
11. Whatever You Like
12. Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me
Disc 14
01. Handy
02. Lame Claim to Fame
03. Foil
04. Sports Song
05. Word Crimes
06. My Own Eyes
07. NOW That’s What I Call Polka!
08. Mission Statement
09. Inactive
10. First World Problems
11. Tacky
12. Jackson Park Express
Disc 15
01. Take Me Down
02. My Bologna (Capitol single version)
03. Yoda (demo)
04. Dr. Demento Jingle
05. Pac-Man
06. Dare to Be Stupid (instrumental)
07. Jurashiku Park
08. Headline News
09. Since You've Been Gone (karaoke)
10. The Night Santa Went Crazy (extra gory version)
11. Spy Hard
12. Lousy Haircut
13. Homer & Marge
14. The Brain Song
15. 30 Rock Theme Parody
16. Super Duper Party Pony
17. Sir Isaac Newton Vs. Bill Nye
18. Let the Pun Fit the Crime
19. Hey, Hey, We're the Monks
20. Comedy Bang! Bang! Theme
21. It’s My World (and We’re All Living in It)
22. Beat on the Brat
23. Happy Birthday (new version)
Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"

Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line
Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine

Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically
And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

(Would you look at all that stuff)
They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles

Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open the door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store