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Permanent Record: Al in the Box
Disc 1
01. My Bologna (Capitol Records single version)
02. Another One Rides the Bus
03. Happy Birthday (Placebo E.P. version)
04. I Love Rocky Road
05. Ricky
06. Polkas on 45
07. Midnight Star
08. Eat It
09. Mr. Popeil
10. I Lost on Jeopardy
11. Buy Me a Condo
12. King of Suede
Disc 2
01. Yoda
02. This Is the Life
03. Like a Surgeon
04. One More Minute
05. I Want a New Duck
06. Dare to Be Stupid
07. Hooked on Polkas
08. Addicted to Spuds
09. Dog Eat Dog
10. Here’s Johnny
11. Living With a Hernia
12. Christmas at Ground Zero
Disc 3
01. Lasagna
02. Good Old Days
03. Fat
04. Melanie
05. I Think I’m a Clone Now
06. You Make Me
07. Alimony
08. UHF (single version)
09. Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies
10. The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota
11. Spam
12. Generic Blues
Disc 4
01. Polka Your Eyes Out
02. You Don’t Love Me Anymore
03. Smells Like Nirvana
04. When I Was Your Age
05. I Can’t Watch This
06. Trigger Happy
07. Taco Grande
08. Bedrock Anthem
09. Harvey the Wonder Hamster
10. Achy Breaky Song
11. Livin’ in the Fridge
12. Frank’s 2000″ TV
13. Jurassic Park
14. Headline News
I can't watch this

I can't watch this

I can't watch this

My, my, my (I can't watch this)
My TV makes me so bored
Makes me say "oh, my Lord"
What is this garbage here?
Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears
It sucks, and that's no lie
It's about as much fun as watching paint dry
Lowers my IQ one notch
And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch

I told you homeboy... I can't watch this
Yeah, nothing but trash and you know... I can't watch this
Poke out my eyes, man... I can't watch this
Yo, gimme that remote control... I can't watch this

Talkin' 'bout sick shows
There's America's Funniest Home Videos
I can't believe my eyes
When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize
Somebody's poor old mom falls down off the roof
Lands right on the lawn
Face first on a rake
I hear they've got it on the seventeenth take
That's funny as a kick in the crotch
And that kind of show, uh, I can't watch

Yo, I told you... I can't watch this
Change the channel now, man... I can't watch this
Yo, pass the TV Guide here, sucker... I can't watch this

Cosby Show and Roseanne
Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can
Judge Wapner, oh my
You gotta be Rain Man to like this guy
Thirtysomething is alright
If you like hearing yuppies whining all night
Can't stand Twin Peaks
Wish they'd lynch those doughnut-eatin' freaks
Those Siskel & Ebert bums
Oughta go home and sit on their thumbs

That's word because you know... I can't watch this
I can't watch this
Break it down!

Here's how to order...
Money back guarantee...
Removes tough stains fast...
It tastes more like fresh peanuts...
They keep going and going...
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful...
Could be dandruff...
Our prices are insane!
Stop, prime-time

I'm pretty sure I'll be sick
If I have to watch another stupid pet trick
Or that guy with the real flat hair
That goes "woof-woof-woof" and waves his fist in the air
Or those weird talk shows
About transsexual Nazi Eskimos
They're rude, crude and vile
Just for a minute let's flip down the dial

Flip, flip, flip... yech, I can't watch this
Look man... I can't watch this
I can't take this torture no more, I can't...
I can't watch this
Pay the bills, station break
Break it down!

Operators are standing by...
Cubic zirconium necklaces...
You're soaking in it...
And our fabulous swimsuit issue...
When you've got a headache this big...
Read the book...
This is your brain on drugs...
I've fallen and I can't get up!
Stop, Cable Time

HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV
I might like 'em more after my lobotomy
Now why did I ever pay for this junk?
I hooked up eighty channels and each one stunk
Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T&A
It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna throw my set away

I can't watch this

I can't watch this

I can't watch this

Yeah... I can't watch this
I told you... can't watch this
Too hip, can't watch this
Get me outta here... can't watch this